Toned, Tight, and... broke?

Ok, I'm either a sucker, or the smartest genius alive. I bought a pair of MBT's last week. Anyone heard of these? They are the most hideous, disasterous-looking sneakers, but fashion aside, they're supposed to change your life. On their WEBSITE, they explain that these shoes will not only improve your posture, ease the impact on your joints and back, but also (get ready ladies...) eliminate cellulite, tone your legs, calves, butt, AND abs all just by standing in them! I've seen lots of people wearing them at Central Park, and the snobby ladies on the upper east side all have them on when they're walking to daily yoga classes. They've been advertised in tons of magazines, and the celebs (even supermodels) swear by them.

Together with a co-worker, we ordered the black pair shown above (which we deemed the least orthopedic-looking) and comitted to start wearing them all day in the office. I can't give up my stilettos permanently, while I'm at work, who cares?

I'm here to say, that I'm a believer! As a New Yorker, we walk about 5 miles a day average, so it's like having a gym in a shoe. You immediately feel your muscles contracting in your stomach, even as you stand still. Riding on the subway is trippy: you're constantly shifting and trying to balance, which is great because you can feel the muscles in your inner thighs, butt, and hamstrings flexing to stabilize your foot. The fit is so difficult to explain... the best description I can give is that it feels like you're walking on a trampoline, or on shifting sand. The shoe works by destabilizing each step, forcing your muscles to work harder and thus burning calories even by standing still.

The price is steep at $265/pair, but they come with an instructional DVD and they're backed by years of scientific studies. I'll keep you posted- I was thinking of taking measurements and seeing if I really do lose inches. Like I said... I'm either a genius, or a sucker. What's your guess?

iDump

It's no secret that the iPhone has changed life significantly, but this invention might be taking it to an extreme. Check out the iCarta iPhone toilet dispenser adapter, which plays your favourite tuns while you are... um, well you know. The speakers are moisture-resistance, in case of "splash backs." Now what kind of playlist do you create for taking a dump....?

iPhone or Baby!

For all my parent friends, check out this cute little iPhone onesie! The functions are adorable: "crawl", "nap", "pee" and "poop". Bonus: you don't have to be an AT&T customer to use one!

Almighty DOLLAR!

WHOO HOO! Congratulations, Canada on hitting PAR with the American dollar for the first time in 31 years! $1 American will get you $1 Canadian- isn't that unbelieveable?! Great for Canadians- you can cross the border to buy cheap gas and clothing, and avoid the high sales tax! Great news for Americans, who will see more travel to the U.S. and retail sales from the Great North! Check out the details on this MONUMENTAL day in finance HERE! Now go shopping!

Pirate

So, a pirate walks into a bar. Looks like the quintessential pirate -- peg leg, hook on one hand, eye patch, the whole nine yards. In addition to all this, he's got a steering wheel hanging from the fly of his pants. He walks up to the bar, and orders a whiskey. The bartender pours the pirate a glass, and says to him "I don't want to offend, but I thought you should know -- you've got a steering wheel attached to your fly." The pirate nods his head, and says: "Arrrgh, I know. And it's driving me nuts."

New Feature!

Hey, folks! I added a new fun toy on my blog! Check out the poll on the right side- answer the question or send me one of your questions you'd like to see by posting a comment. Answer the poll question and view the results. I'll change the poll often to keep you entertained!

DO IT NOW!!! I ORDER YOU!

Speaking of...

A clear desk is the sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes!
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Give me ambiguity or give me something else
HONK if you want to see my finger
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck
I tried snorting coke once... the ice cubes got stuck in my nose
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot
Save the whales. Collect the whole set
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people get
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?
All generalizations are false.
If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria (especially in NYC!)
Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious.
Conclusion: the place where you got tired of thinking.
Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.
Money is the root of all wealth.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
With a calendar, your days are numbered.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
Bad spellers of the world untie.
Friction is a drag.
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
A clear conscience is merely the result of bad memory.
I'm in shape. Round's a shape, isn't it?
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station..
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older Then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals.
Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.
VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Clones are people two.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
Atheism is a nonprophet organization.

If you're considering a tattoo...

These are some GREAT ideas! Mr. Cool Ice sure thinks so!

Incredible!

Kenadie Jourdin Bromley was born weighing just 2lbs and is known around the world as "the littlest angel. " She has been diagnosed with primordial dwarfism. Her parents started this website to raise awareness about primordial dwarfism, and encourage acceptance of this unique genetic trait.

'Holla, KOP!

Me and the girls reunited last weekend when I came down to Philly. Jess and Cory provided luxury accomodations and fine cuisine (thanks, guys!) Miss you!

The History Of Michael Jackson's Face

HERE'S a great website that shows a chronological time line of Michael Jackson's many many faces over his career. Poor Michael- just pick a face and stick with it! For the record, Michael Jackson still won't admit to his plastic surgery... really, Michael? You be the judge.

Stuff that annoys me

The skin that forms on pudding

People that say, "I'm not racist, but.."

iPod earphones turned up so loud you can plainly hear the song in the person's ears

PEOPLE WHO STILL TYPE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. COME ON, DON'T THEY KNOW?

People who throw cigarette butts on the ground

Commercials that are much louder than the tv show they are sponsoring

Web sites with embedded sound

The crusty gunk on ketchup bottles

Dirty silverware at a restaurant

When people make the air quotation marks with their fingers

People that honk their horns instead of getting out and knocking on their friend's door.

When you get the shopping cart with the bum wheel that teeters, squeaks, and squeals

Long check-out lines when you see the store employees goofing off

The sound of styrofoam rubbing together...URRGHH!

When you open a milk carton for the first time and you bend the spout all out of shape and mess it up trying to open it

A phone call that's a wrong number, and they ask, "are you sure?" (Wait... no, I'm not sure who lives at my house... let me go ask someone if Raul lives here...")

Any others? Post yours in the comments section!

Take THAT, air!

Remember the Seinfeld episode where the woman doesn’t swing her arms when she walked? It’s true how odd that makes people look. But, I’ve found that even worse is when people swing their arms TOO MUCH! I’ve had it! I’m walking behind someone on the stairs, and their fist comes flying back at me repeatedly- I start this little lean-back, dodge the fist technique and almost fall backwards down the stairs trying to avoid being bashed in the face! Or, say, a couple thousand of us are walking down the sidewalk on 5th Ave in the morning, and some crazy jerk starts the arm swing thing. Everyone gets crowded up just trying to get away! Why do they need to pump their fist up and down like that when they walk? New York city is NO place for power walking, people! Are they trying to balance while they walk? Do they think they’ll walk faster because of the propellers they’ve created with their arms on either side? It’s like they’re pushing the air behind them violently. Stupid AIR! Get OUTTA here! Urghh! I’ll punch you with my FIST, you AIR!

City that never sleeps... is quiet

Tuesday, Sept. 11.

Often, when people hear that I live in New York City, they ask, "are you ever nervous or worried because of what happened?" No one really wants to say what that thing that happened is. If you want a simple answer, yes. But I don't think that has anything to do with living in Manhattan. Even before I moved here, I thought about it, and felt nervous about it. It's the simplest things that remind me that 9.11.01 was just like any other day.
I remember when I found out: I was living in Indiana and I was beginning my junior year at university. I woke up to hear my phone ringing. It was my best friend Kristi. "Go turn on the TV", that's the first thing she said. Of course, it didn't matter what channel, because it was everywhere. The first tower had just been hit, and watching it on tv felt like watching a movie. It couldn't be happening. I watched as I talked to her on the phone, and we saw the second plane hit...as it happened. That's what will forever be different about this event- it was broadcast all over the world, live. I remember that the weather that day was the most sunny day. It was bright and sunny and clear, but when I sky on TV, that sky was grey. I remember thinking, "My sky should be grey too. Everyone's sky should be grey."

This is the first year I've lived and worked in NYC over 9/11, and I wondered what the atmosphere would be like. It was quiet. Really quiet. The rain came down hard and fast and the sky was dark all day. When I walked to the subway this morning, I was thinking that this was the very same thing that all those people were doing too. Probably riding on the very same train that I am standing in.

Talk about LAZY!

Maybe this is why she hasn't lost her "baby weight!" So funny!

The green beans gene

You know what I discovered today? My dogs LOVE green beans! Isn't that weird? Dan and I have been eating fresh steamed vegetables every night with dinner, and one of my favorites is green beans... yum! The dogs always beg for food, so I thought they'd be disgusted if I fed them a green bean. They freaked out and LOVED them! Does anyone know if green beans are bad for dogs? Shouldn't be, right?

Even as I sit here typing, Prince keeps sneaking up at my bowl and stealing them when I'm not looking. Have you ever heard of something so silly?!

Speaking of silly... that reminds me of when I was apparently talking in my sleep a while ago. Dan told me that he came to bed and I was already asleep. When he got into bed, I sat up and started yelling, "THE BEANS! THE BEANS! YOU'RE LAYING IN THE BEANS!"

"What beans?!" he said.

"The SILLY Beans! The SILLY beans for the CAR! They're rolling away! Get up!"

True story!

"I now pronounce you..."

Labor(less) day Weekend!

I just have to say that I am enjoying doing NOTHING this weekend! Dan and I slept in yesterday, then went shopping in Union Square and Flatiron District. Later, we went to the Union Square market and bought some farm-fresh organic fruit and produce. Dan made roast in the crock-pot for dinner, and then we had a serious CROKINOLE tournament with our friends Ben and Natalie.

My hairdryer blew up this week, and with my new haircut, I desperately need a dryer. I decided to invest in a good hairdryer, and I found one at bliss spa , that I wanted. I went to Bliss on 57th and 6th (which is far because it's on the upper east side, which is separated from where we live on the upper west side by central park.) There's no cross town subways in upper manhattan, so you have to go down to Times Square, switch trains, and then go back up to the upper east side. I found out the hard way to never go to a spa on a holiday weekend. I had to stand in line just to ask if they had the hairdryer. Nope, they didn't. So they offered to call the SoHo store and see if they had it. SoHo said yes, so I went all the way down to lower manhattan, and battled the crowds of tourists and shoppers (uurrrggghh!) in over-glammed SoHo. Again, I waited in line at the spa, and when I finally spoke to the attendant, she pulled out a stupid folding travel hairdryer that you can buy at Kmart. Thanks alot, lady. I just spent 2 hours running all over the city and this is what you pull out? I went home and ordered it online, with a 20% coupon I found on retail me not . It just goes to show, that even when you live in a city that has everything and every store you could think of, it's so much easier to find it on the internet and have it delivered to your door!

Tomorrow, on our holiday, we have NO plans and we'll just see where the day takes us.
New York City is beautiful and sunny, and NOT hot, which is fabulous. We've been in hibernation from the sticky humid summer, and we are looking forward to a glorious autumn and winter season! I can't wait to wear jeans again! Happy Labor(less) Day to all of you! Put your feet up and relax!