Stumpy

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."
And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."
Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."
Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

Pedicure

I got a manicure/pedicure on Saturday at the little joint on 72nd where me and Cory and Cara got mani/pedi's for New Years (remember, Cor?) Even though everything in New York seems SO expensive, you CAN get one thing for cheap- Manicure AND pedicure for $19! Nice!

I chose a soft pale pink for my nails (neutral for my ahem... Grown up job at the office) but I went crazy on my pedicure and got NEON pink! I'm thinking, hey, I'll be in Vegas this weekend and probably be rockin' some open toe shoes so I may as well pick a FIERCE colour!

Anyways, I was getting ready to leave, after the pedicure was dry, and then some weird stuff went down. The chinese lady who did my nails started freaking out and rushing around me, and I honestly couldn't understand a WORD of what she was trying to say. The next thing I know, she's rubbing some crazy OIL on my toes, and then putting SANDWICH BAGS on my feet! What the? This is the FIRST time this has EVER happened? I just kinda sat there, stunned, and let her do her thing, and then I went home and took the oily bags off my feet.

STRANGE...

Craving...

Sarah- I'm craving one of your cupcakes right now! Thank goodness you don't live in NYC because I am SO needing the peanut butter cup one! Must...Be... STRONG!

The Freakin' coolest Shadow puppets EVER!

You MUST check this out!

GRAMMYS! Let's get CRAZZZY!

Did anyone watch the GRAMMY awards last night?! Amazing! I thought it was one of the best years ever! I loved Alicia Keys and Frank Sinatra’s duet right at the beginning, and I hate to admit it, but even thought I HATE country music, that girl Carrie Underwood was FIERCE and she really turned it out in her performance! Tina and Beyonce killed it during their Proud Mary duet- wow, it gave me chills! I was so glad to see that there was very little lip-synching too. I mean, this is the GRAMMYS, people- if you can’t sing live, then you certainly don’t deserve one!

I could go on and on- Andrea Boticelli and Josh Groban? Unbelievable! I was so excited when Stevie Wonder came out onstage… but he just introduced Alicia Key’s performance (aww! I wanna hear HIM!) Prince was SO super hot and he makes me wanna scream just in the way he walks out on stage. And KANYE! I’ve never really liked him, and his arrogance turned me off but last night he was THE performance to beat! That was incredible! YouTube it if you missed it!

Now for the worst- ugghhh Amy Winehouse. Why is everyone so crazy about her? Yeah, she has a unique retro sound, but Joss Stone can do it SO much better. And she’s a crazy crack addict- not someone I think needs an award- she needs to step out of the industry for a while and fix her problems first. She just creeps me out and she does such weird things with her mouth and her legs when she performs. Also in my bottom rank? Fergie- what a crap-tacular performance with John Legend. And John, you didn’t even SING! YOU were the one I wanted to hear, not that crackly trailer-trash sounding fake-tanned wacko. John, you’re amazing. No more duets with sub-par talent that couldn’t even hit pitch on that one LOOOOONNNNNGGGGG excruciating note that she held forever but never quite got up there to hit it. Open it up, girl! That was PAINFUL!

Time for comments- what was your top and least favourite moments from last night? Thoughts?

Immagine if you could spell...

I dropped my car off at our parking space in Queens last Sunday. As I was walking to the train in Astoria, I walked by this hair salon called "IMMAGINE" hair styling. Is the double "M" supposed to be trendy? Who spell checked this sign? This place has NOTHING on "YO! BEAUTY SUPPLY" in Philly! Watch out!

OW!

Relating to my “eye” posts recently, I found this article that suggests the most painful places to get a tattoo. Guess what the number one place is? The EYE! People actually get their EYEBALLS tattooed! Apparently, blind people or people with deformities, can get their eyeballs tattooed to make them look more esthetically pleasing. I never knew that! Check out the article on Newsweek.

Three Crazies

Here’s some fun pictures from last weekend: I met up with my friend Nancy (left) and her co-worker/friend Lindsay at Bahama Breeze in KOP. Nancy and I are so much alike, it’s crazy! We used to work together before I moved to NYC, and we still keep in touch and call each other often. Nancy and Lindsay went out in Old City Philadelphia for girls night, and I went to a movie with Corey and Becca. ( Terrible movie, might I add… you can refer to my other blog for the rant that accompanies THAT!) Nancy has a torturous “joke” where she calls me Car-MINE, just to get on my nerves. AGHHH!!!!!!! We scored pretty good at Bahama Breeze, though- when we asked for our check, he only charged us $4.99! We hooked him up with a $40 tip, so maybe he’ll hook us with free stuff again next time!

Jack Handey

I remember how my Great Uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint.

EYE think this tastes terrible!

So here's the deal with my itchy eyes: no pink eye (that's good!) but I have some kind of weird allergy. The doctor says it's probably environmental, and it's just an irritation that is bothering

my sensitive eyes. Her best guess is that the subway dust, the dirt that flies around from all the cars and buses rushing by, all that stuff is just getting stuck on my eyeballs and making them red. She said I should wear my glasses when I'm walking to and from work outside, because they will help keep debris from blowing into them. Also, I have very dry eyes, and just like you need to moisturize your hands in the winter, I need to keep moisturizing my eyes.

She prescribed a stronger prescription eye drop, and warned me that it would sting a bit when I drop them in. I also have a moisturizing drop to put in whenever I think of it, as often as I can. Here's the bizarre thing, though- the prescription eye drops are getting into my THROAT and making my mouth all raw! It's awful, as soon as I put the drops in, I can TASTE them! They taste like nasty, salty, acidic, medicine, and the taste won't go away, so I have to chew gum or drink tea constantly. BLECH! I never realized that your eyeballs are connected to your throat!

I think I should suggest to the doctor that they should make these eyedrops in flavors like strawberry, banana, or grape. THAT would make them a bit easier to take! Ha ha ha

Did TiVo miss your fav show?

I found a great site to watch tv shows and movies on the 'net. Check out www.sidereel.com for all your boob-tubing needs!

Screw the gym- I'll just get THESE bad boys!