Tales from American Idol

Here's the story of a little Canadian girl who went to American Idol Auditions. Play by Play:

-4:00am Sunday: woke up. And woke up at 3:50 and 3:30 and 3:15 and 3:00 and 2:59... you know how that goes. If you know that you NEED to wake up early and can't oversleep or else you'll miss something, then your brain can't rest and you keep waking up every couple of minutes checking the clock! Arghhhh! We picked up the rental car here in NYC (since we are now official non-driving, car-free New Yorkers!) and hit the road around 5pm on Saturday. For some reason, the cheapest rental car available in our neighborhood was a convertible! Too bad that it was starting to rain- the top stayed up the whole time. Aw! We got to the patriots stadium in Foxboro, MA (yeah, the auditions aren't ACTUALLY in BOSTON- it's like 70 miles OUTSIDE of Boston! Basically in Rhode Island! What a hoax!)and went straight to check in/registration. There was NO ONE there- perfect! No lines, nothing. I showed them my ID, they put a red bracelet on me and a white one on Dan and gave us 2 tickets to enter the stadium. We had to be there at 5am to line up.

-5:30 am got in line. The line was Lonnnnnggg. There's really no reson for a line outside, other than they keep driving back and forth on a 4x4 taking video footage for the show. They want to show a big line of people waiting to get on American Idol. It's pretty aggravating. And then, the skies opened up and it DOWNPOURED rain.

Now, when the rain started, I figured, "Ok, they can't take any more footage, so they are going to be logical and just open the stadium doors and let us go in out of the rain." NO. they decided that it would be GOOD TV to film people soaking in the rain, so there we stood. From 5:30 am (and most people had been there since 4 or earlier!) until 9:30 am, we stood in the RAIN. Horrible, awful experience. I was trembling with cold.

We couldn't leave the line or else we weren't allowed back in the line. Some people didn't have umbrellas or jackets even, so we all tried to share as best we could. It was hell. The rain was pouring so hard that it was splashing on the concrete and then back up to soak us twice. The wind was blowing umbrellas inside out, and the rain was soaking us horizontally as well. At this point, I REALLY REALLY REALLY considered leaving. It was too much. I wanted to cry, and a lot of people DID leave.

I made a comment to some people in line that this was a combination of "survivor" and "American Idol" because the whole "outwit, outplay, outlast" thing was REALLY being put to the test! Who will SURVIVE to make it inside the stadium?

We remained strong because Dan kept reassuring me, saying "this will all be worth it when you're on stage at the Kodak theatre..." We finally got the line moving, and we were thrilled that we were about to finally be inside.

"INSIDE" turned out to be an open air stadium with NO ROOF. It was still pouring, and the brainless "security guards" at the venue refused to let anyone sit inside on the stairs or in the concourse where it was covered from the rain. I was beyond furious. Really. This was incredible. Dan and I had to sneak around like teenagers until we found an "unguarded spot" near a stairwell that we could sit on the cement out of the rain. I had on just rubber flip flops- my toes were all completely numb with the cold. I couldn't feel any of them. Bad sign, right?

The only thing not wet was our hair and face, because that was under the umbrella. Our clothing, or shoes, everything was soaked. I had on a knee-length dress with bare legs and flip flops and my legs were shaking so hard that I could barely stand up. The temperature was just 56F (which is 13C.) I opened my bag and my 2 books that I brought were SOAKED completely through. My wallet, all my cash, and my new suede shoes that I spent $250 on JUST for this outfit were soaked and ruined. Never worn. (insert sad face here.)

9:30am-11am: we sat on the concrete, shivering under the stairwell to stay dry. No towels, no blankets were allowed in the stadium. The gift shop wasn't even open so I could by a Patriots sweatshirt or something!

11am: They make an announcement that EVERYONE has to take their seats. Ryan Seacrest arrives. They tell everyone that they have to be quiet while he delivers a line and then everyone has to scream. (Umm, this is a SINGING competition, and I'm soaked and freezing from the rain. I was lip-synching screaming, thank you very much!) For about 2 minutes, the crowd is SHUSSHING everyone (annoying!) The producer says, "Ok, don't shush, please." Finally after another 2 minutes, we get something that resembles silence. Ryan says, "This is American Idol!" and everyone starts screaming. Then, without saying anything else, Ryan leaves.

11-12pm- the producers have the audience chant things like "American Idol" and "Boston, Wicked Awesome" and "No, I'M the next American Idol." But we have to do it 20 times each because no one can chant in rhythm. Then, we're supposed to sing "when I grow up" by the Pussycat dolls. This takes another hour because no one can clap in rhythm and get the words right. The producer ends up saying, "ok, everyone just STOP the clapping." By the end, the producer was satisfied with us just doing the "You just might get it, You just might get it" part. Seriously. It was disgraceful, to say the least. Oh, and they changed the line from "I wanna be a star I wanna have BOOBIES" to "I wanna have GROUPIES!"

I said "GROOBIES" just to be difficult. lol

12pm- the producer explains how the auditions will work: you're seated in your section according to the tickets you received when you walked in. They call you down to the field by section. The entire section lines up on the far right, and there are 13 tents set up with a producer in each tent. You go in groups of 4 to the tent (and then other groups of 4 line up behind you, ready to go.) The producer points at the person at the start of the line, they sing, and you get about 10 seconds each as it goes down the line of 4. They start with section 125. We are seated in the back of the LAST section, #135. It's going to be a longggg day.

Plus, they didn't even use ALL 13 tents! At least 3 tents were empty the whole day. Think of how much faster the auditions would have moved if they would have had those tents filled up?

During this waiting time, Dan and I ate junk food (it was abundant at all these fried food places in the stadium) played on our iPods, napped, and tried to keep warm. At one point, I was walking back to my seat from the bathroom, and a woman approached me. She worked at one of the concession stands and she saw me and wanted to ask if I'd come back and sing for her and the other ladies that worked there. I was kinda embarrassed, but I agreed.

I sang my audition song, "Beautiful," in front of about 10 workers there, and they all freaked out. They asked for an autograph to keep in the restaurant, and they all asked if they could take pictures with me on their cell phones! They were convinced that I WAS the next American Idol! They were like, "I'll vote for you! I'l have my whole family vote! I promise I will!" Go figure!

7:30pm Fast forward. The entire stadium is empty except for the people in my section. The concession stands are closed down, and all my "fans" are long gone. We get called down to line up. They decide which tent you're going to with the "finger-point" method. Basically, they say: "you, #10, You, #7..." So I went to the tent I was directed to. There were 2 groups of 4 ahead of my group. Not one of them got a golden ticket. And this one girl was REALLY good.

Our turn: the first guy in my group sings an Usher song, and does really well. The next girl sings "I'm like a bird" by Nelly Fertado. I sing "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera. (Here's a rundown of my outfit: metallic leather Diesel jacket, grey diesel dress, teal and grey killer platform shoes. I was styled to the T!) The next guy sings another Usher song. While I'm standing there, another producer walks up behind the tent, bends down to the first producer and looks at me. He says, "The girl in the jacket" and then they whisper something I couldn't hear and look up at me again. Then, the guy says, "Lady in the jacket, can you please sing another song for us?"

I say, "sure- this is a song called Lost, by Anouk" The producer, with a British accent recognized the song and said, "oh, that's a great song. Go ahead, then." I sang it, and I freakin' NAILED it. Everyone else in my group stared at me as I sang, I could feel their eyes burning into me!

The second producer guy left, and the first guy goes, "listen, this is very difficult because you're ALL fantastic singers, but this season we are really looking for someone who really STANDS OUT." At this point, I had a huge smile on my face because I knew he was talking about ME! That I went the extra mile and styled out my outfit, my makeup, and my hair! I'M the one who stands out! YESS!!!

Then, the judge looks down and says, "So, it's a NO for all of you."

(WHAT?! I thought I didn't hear him at first! The security guy comes over and cuts off our bracelets with scissors and directs us where to walk.)

All the while, I'm still reeling: what?! Why did they ask me to sing twice? Why did the second producer come over and ask about me? Why did they say they wanted someone who "stands out?!"

The other people in my group had the same reaction: they came up to me and said, "whoa, that was ridiculous- I thought you really had it! I thought for sure he was talking about you!" And I just played it off and tried to be humble and said, "yes, but you were all great!" In my head, I was like, "YES! I KNOW!!! I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA WIN TOO!!!"

So, there you have it. I don't have anything more to say- it's frustrating, it's not fair that the fat dudes can get through by dressing in fairy wings...it's just, well it's the reality of "reality tv."

I really don't know WHY I didn't make it. And the more I think about it, the more questions I have: "What if I'd been sent to a different tent?" "What if I'd gone earlier in the day? Did they already give out too many golden tickets by the time I'd gotten up to sing?" "What did they mean by STAND OUT?" "What if I could have told them at least my NAME or where I'm from, or that I'm a straight-laced ACCOUNTANT by day?"

Who knows?

At least I can be assured that I did everything right. I gave it my very best, I didn't screw up the words, or mess up. I got to sing BOTH of my songs, so I know that I don't have to wonder if I picked the "right" song to sing. Dan thinks that me singing at the last had something to do with it- maybe they had met their "quota" for this city. He also thinks that they were picking younger kids (a lot of 16 and 17 year olds that had to be accompanied by their parent) because American Idol wants to target viewers in the "tween" market, and ride the recent industry wave of popularity that Miley Cyrus and Jonas Brothers have.

I just don't know what happened, and I'm just tired of thinking about it so I just have to accept it. I just desperately wish I could have made it in front of Simon, Paula, and Randy. They would have loved me!

We drove home right after that. Got back to NYC at 11pm, which was past the 5pm cutoff to return the rental car so we had to pay for an extra day, AND we had to drive around town for an hour looking for a parking space.

Total damages for a wasted trip: $130 hotel, $250 rental car, $120 meals, $375 outfit, $60 gas/tolls, $20 parking at the stadium.

Whoa, that's $955. Man, now I'm even MORE depressed!