Vegan update

Hello, good people of blogland!
I’m writing today to update you on the vegan cleanse/fast/”diet.” Actually, what’s the opposite of “diet?” Binge? Can I call it a vegan BINGE?
Anyway, today is the last day of our vegan “experiment,” let’s call it. If you’ve done the math, you’ll notice that it’s been 10 days. That’s right- 10 days. We have come to a mutual agreement that we are stopping at 10 days instead of 14. Here’s why:

1) We are GAINING a butt load (pun intended) of weight. The vegan lifestyle centers around starches and grains, and it’s just carb overload. We’ve eaten so much rice, pasta, and pita bread that the scale is officially telling us to back off. Plus, with all the beans, lentils and couscous (the food so nice, they named it twice!), we’re so bloated that we’re wearing sweatpants as often as possible. This is not like us. We are not sweatpant people.

2) We are going to Dan’s parents’ home on Friday for “Christmas,” since we’ll be in Montreal over Christmas Day. His family is cooking up a huge feast of roast beef, dressing, gravy, and I’m told a Pumpkin Pie just for me! Now, there’s 2 reasons right there- first, we want to eat. Not OVER eat, but eat. I can’t imagine trying to explain to Dan’s parents, who are farmers in Amish country, PA, that we are vegan. It’s just sacrilegious. Second, if we do eat the meal on Saturday (which technically, 2 weeks ends on Friday, so we CAN eat on Saturday) I’m SURE we would get very sick, coming straight off this and into eating beef. Not “throw up sick”, the OTHER kind of sick. Get it? Let me put it this way: it’s a 5 hour drive. I’m not bringing toilet paper to accommodate me squatting in the woods on the side of the PA turnpike.

3) I think we’re as CLEANSED as we’re gonna get. Not to be graphic, but believe me. I have to tell ya, if you need to be cleansed of anything, this is the way to do it. I really do feel like my sugar addiction is under control, after avoiding processed foods, fried foods, sugar, and animal products for 10 days. You know what I really crave? Freakin’ SCRAMBLED EGGS! Ugh, I can’t wait! It’s really not the meat that I want at all- I think vegetarian is very manageable. It’s just that I can’t have CHEESE and eggs, and my beloved greek yogurt- even cottage cheese! And OMG SUSHI!!! I could eat sushi for days!!! That’s what I miss.

So, starting tomorrow, we’ve got to ease back onto healthy normal eating. Plus, we have to LOSE the weight we’ve gained! Ugh, was it worth it? Well, at least it gave me new awareness to listening to my body and feeding it what it NEEDS, not whatever junk is available as soon as my belly growls.

Well, that’s it for now. Let me know what you think!