Hero

This is the blog I've been begging to write: BRAD'S HOME! I scanned the headlines every day, every hour online, looking for news about the Canadian troops. Whenever I heard that a soldier was killed or injured, my heart fell right into my stomach...Dear God, please don't let it be Brad. Each time I ate a meal at a restaurant, I thought of Brad eating his military freeze dried chemicals that they call "food", under a tent with blowing sand. When I complained about the heat or the humidity on a hot summer day, my mind would flash to Brad, wearing layers of gear, armour, and a heavy helmet while the desert heat forced sweat to pour down his face and into his eyes. I saw the guns in pictures and on TV, but I can't imagine how it feels to carry one... or to use one in defense. Life went on as usual, and I enjoyed the luxury of take-out, tv, and hot showers on a daily basis. I can't imagine the feeling that Brad felt as he looked out the window of the military plane this morning, as they descended into Canada. The arial view of massive forests of green trees with their branches outstreched; the first to welcome them home with open arms. I'm sure even breathing the air feels exhilerating... free air. Freedom.

We really have no idea, do we? Freedom is never free. And as much as I want every troop brought home, and as much as I oppose the war, I will always be grateful for every man and woman who fought and gave everything to make sure that the bad guys never win. Living in New York City, the very spot where 6 years ago, terrorists fought to take our freedom, makes me even more thankful. NYC is the perfect example of resiliance and determination-this city refuses to bow and refuses to move.

Brad, how can I ever say thank you? It was always my job as your big sister to take care of you, and look out for your safety, but you risked your life for me and millions of strangers who will never even know your name. There's gotta be a better word than "hero" for that.

Talking to Americans

I'm posting this specifically for my American friends to enjoy! This show is a Canadian favourite, and there's hundreds of episodes on YouTube. It never ceases to amaze me what comes out of these American's mouths! It makes it even funnier because these people are educated individuals from Harvard, political leaders, and professors, and they think that Canadians live in igloos and eat Beaver Balls. Don't leave mean comments- I understand that not EVERYONE is this clueless about Canada, and I hope that just by knowing ME, you've learned even a little bit about your neighbour to the north!

P.S- If you don't get the "Seal hunt in Saskatchewan" joke, look up Saskatchewan on Google Maps...

I bet Brad's tired of this scenery...

My younger brother, Brad, has been in Afghanistan since the beginning of the year. His tour is ending soon, and he'll be home any day now! If the war hasn't touched close to home for you, then please let these pictures remind to you keep our troops in prayer. You may not support the war, but you must support the brave kids out there.

P.S.- If any Americans are reading this, and didn't know that Canadians are fighting too... shame!

Stupid Headlines

Rentals?! Who would RENT adult diapers? You know, there's some things that just aren't worth a bargain!

Um, I don't know how many people have had their knees strapped to their crotch during a medical exam. Is that even possible?

Aw Nuts

A guy goes into the bar and sits down and orders a drink. Other than the bartender, there's no one else in the place. All of a sudden he hears a voice that says, "Nice suit." He looks around and doesn't see anyone and the bartender looks busy washing some glasses. A little while later the same voice says, "Nice Tie." The guy looks around again and doesn't see anyone. He finally asks the bartender if he just said something."No," replied the bartender, "it wasn't me. It was probably the peanuts though. They're complimentary."

Here comes the Circus!

The big white tents are going up in Bryant Park today! That can only mean one thing! NYC fashion week is here! I was eating lunch today in the park, watching the whole thing get assembled. I also noticed a lot of freakishly-tall anorexic models walking around looking FIERCE! You know why models always look so angry and ticked off when they’re walking down the catwalk? Because they’re hungry! They just want a freakin’ Snickers bar!

NYC fashion week means a lot in our household, because I basically won’t be seeing my husband for the next 4-6 days. All the head honchos from Italy are flying in, and part of his job is to schmooze like he’s never schmoozed before! Diesel is having their fashion show in Bryant park, and I’m sure there will be some fabulous after-parties! Last year, the party was at Gotham Hall, and James Brown was our surprise special performance. (I don’t think he’ll make it this year…)

My Romeo

Romeo is hard to get pictures of; I think he's camera shy. He always moves at the last minute, and he's so alert and in charge that the slightest movement will distract him. Romeo is 3, and he's very much the alpha. When we brought Prince home last year, we made sure that Romeo was always in charge, and Prince loves learning from him. Romeo gets his fill of the crazy puppy sometimes, and he likes to seek solitude in his crate by himself. He'll put himself to bed if things get too crazy, and he just wants a break! Romeo used to have the upper hand because he could jump up on the furniture and Prince couldn't. Then Prince learned, and Romeo was screwed cause his little trick didn't work anymore. Now he's figured out a new way to keep ahead of Prince, though- he figured out how to go up the spiral staircase and get to the 2nd floor! That's an impressive feat for a 5 lb little dog, because the staircase is all open and suspended so it must be scary! It's pretty much like climbing a ladder, going straight up! Romeo goes up 1 step at a time, and at the top, he takes the last 3 steps really quick because that's probably the scariest part!

Romeo isn't a cuddler or a huggy dog- but he's extremely sensitive and perceptive. He's suprisingly intelligent and recognizes alot of vocabulary. We used to spell out the words

"T-R-E-A-T" and "C-A-R", but he even figured those out now! Romie is very loyal and very handsome, whereas Prince is "cute" (there's a difference, you know!). Rome is definitely more of Dan's dog- he was Dan's birthday present and I never wanted a dog- can you imagine? Romeo gets very upset if Dan leaves goes away for a few days, and doesn't say "goodbye." He'll bark and gruff constantly if he doesn't see you pack the suitcase, pick up the keys, and say, "I'm going to work, Romeo you stay." We have to do a little routine with him, and I"ll say to Dan, "Did you tell Romeo goodbye? Don't forget before you leave, or he'll be barking all week!"

Momma & Prince

Prince and Romeo have such personalities- they look alike, but if you spend anytime with them, you'll instantly recognize who's who just by their character. This picture is Prince- he's the baby, and he knows it! He's cuddley and floppy, and he cries and whimpers to get anything he wants (treats, toys, walks...) he's got me whipped! Prince is bigger than his big brother Romeo, but he always lays on his back and lets Romeo wrestle him and boss him around. Romeo's new trick is to run into the bathroom and wait until Prince isn't paying attention, and then he comes RUNNING out and tackles Prince to the floor! He wrestles a little bit, and then gets up and runs back into the bathroom to start the game all over again. It's so funny to watch!

Prince also loves plastic bottlecaps. When he hears someone open a soda, he comes running and then waits for the perfect opportunity. As soon as you set the bottle cap down, he'll sneak up slowly, grab it, and RUN! Mean Momma always takes it away, because they're so easy to choke on. I can't really yell though, cause it's so cute when he does it!

Prince also likes to talk- he doesn't bark, he literally vocalizes like he's talking. He has different sounds and conversations, depending if he's mad, if he's trying to get to you take him to the park, or if he's telling on his big brother cause he thinks something's not fair. He sounds kinda like Scooby Doo!

Dedicated to Jess and Cory

There are few things in life as good as authentic NYC pizza- those of you reading this who have experienced it, will surely agree. Pizza Hut, Dominos, Papa John's, you can all (as Dan would say) "Peace OUT!"

My hands down favorite is from Freddie & Pepper's at the corner of our block. This is the BARBEQUE CHICKEN PIZZA, and it is absolutely divine! Barbeque chicken, cilantro, tomatoes, red onions, and jalapenos for kick! This is the very first meal that I had when we moved to NYC. We had just finished unloading the truck, and we were famished. Jess, Cory and I called up for delivery, and decided to try this barbeque pizza. I promise you, we thought it was the greatest thing we'd ever tasted.

Dan and I ordered it tonight for dinner, as a farewell since we're giving up junk food starting tomorrow. (Isn't that what people always say?)

Watch the Potato Peeler at Work

Very A-PEELing!

I first read about Joe Ades, known in NYC as the "carrot/potato peeler salesman" in an issue of Vanity Fair magazine last year. When we moved to New York, I set out to see this man that I'd read about for myself. He truly is a legend. At 72 years old, this man sits out at various locations every day in NYC and sells these vegetable peelers, which actually are really good peelers. His charm, his cockney accent, and impeccable suits make him an instant standout. In the article I read, he said that his trick is to always sit LOW on the ground, because it creates a crowd and no one can see what everyone is standing around looking at, so they press in closer and it generates more curiosity. The Vanity Fair article revealed that this man is a millionnaire many times over, and no one ever believes him when he tells them he's made his fortune peddling potato peelers!

In December, I finally saw him on 5th Avenue, near my office. Of course, I bought a peeler! When I bought it, he said, "Just one? What about for your friends?" "No thanks," I said, smiling. "Awww," he said loudly with a grin, "Ladies and Gentlemen, a sad sad sight indeed- this lovely young thing doesn't have any friends! What are we to do? Someone, buy her a potato peeler to cheer her up, eh?" (He's good, right?)

I found this video on YouTube, but I shot these pictures myself last week on my lunch break. He had set up his "shop" right outside the entrance to my building on 5th Ave. It cheers me each time I see him around Manhattan. If you come to NYC, make sure you look for Joe... and for goodness' sakes, BUY A FREAKIN' PEELER, TOO!

Tall tails

I heard a statistic that there are 9 rats for every person in NYC. which would mean there are about 72 million nasty slimy hairy skinny tails running around here. I should have never thought about this, because I was living in a healthy state of denial. When I'm waiting for the subway, I play this little game in my head debating which is worse: NOT looking at the train tracks and not seeing the rats, and then one suddenly leaps out at me or scampers up out of the pit and runs across my toes... EEEEK! OR... is it worse to look down into the tracks, and SEE the nasty thing and watch it run along the rails... SICK! Sometimes, I see a tiny little field mouse, and it scares me at first, but I force myself to watch it and pretend it's Templeton from the Charlotte's Web book. Dan says, "awww... he's CUTE, Carm! Look at him, just playing and running." I can deal with it then, but one time, I saw a HUGE gargantuan beast of a rat, that looked more like a feline than a rodent. I couldn't look at it, even though Dan was laughing at it and trying to get me to watch. It's their tails, you know? If their tails were chopped off, then I think they'd look like gerbils or fast running rabbits or something. But I was torn, because I couldn't bear the thought of NOT looking, and then being surprised to see it come up and run up my skirt or something horrendous like that. I just shuddered as I was typing that... can you imagine?!! UURRRGGGHHHH!!!

Anyway, I haven't seen any rats other than a couple times down in the subway pits, and they're usually small and more like little mice. EXCEPT, last night Dan and I came up out of the subway station at 72nd street, at about 1 AM, and there was a DEAD RAT laying right at the entrance to the station!! It was GINORMOUS, and it was laying on it's back with it's feet sticking up in the air. It must have been poisoned and stumbled up onto the street. It was weird, cause it was grossing me out, but I couldn't look away! Dan almost tripped over it at first, because we weren't expecting it. That would've been so disgusting- kicking a dead rat in your flip flops?! OMG!

Pretty cute...

If you're feeling like me, it's been a pretty blah week. We had thunderstorms and rain all week, and the temp dropped into the 50's. Weather like that makes you want to pull the covers up over your head in the morning, and just sleep till noon. The days dragged by this week at work, the skies were gray, I broke an umbrella, and my orange galoshes sprung a leak from all the drenching rain. I'm desperate for the weekend, and I need some cheering up! Luckily, I stumbled upon this website called THE CUTE PROJECT and I instantly recieved some "cute therapy" to relieve my stress. As cheesy as it sounds, you can't deny, that these pictures DO make you smile and feel a bit better.

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, 'I like mayonnaise.' She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.

Look away, baby, look away

There's an unspoken no eye contact rule on the subway. When you're riding with a million or so other strangers, you have no right to personal space. Inevitably, you WILL be pushed up in someone's armpit, have your face inches away from someone's sweat-stained back (GROSS!) or, my personal worst- BUTT TO BUTT. URRGHHH! I will push myself into someone else to avoid touching butts- I know, you're reading this and thinking "That's AWFUL!" Yeah, it is.

So, since you can't avoid the proximity, you really just get used to it. The first lesson to learn is to avoid staring or making eye contact. Stare at whatever else you can- your shoes, your iPod, or "pretend" to be looking out the window of the train (which is really just a black tunnel.) If you accidentally stare at someone, and (heaven forbid) they catch you- quickly smile apologetically, and quickly look down at your phone or watch or SOMETHING. You can also pretend you were staring out the (non-existent) window near their head. In a moment of desperation, I'll admit I've even closed my eyes immediately and faked a sudden narcolepsy attack. (don't laugh, it's true.) It's creepy enough to be butt to butt with the person behind you and face to armpit with the person in front of you, but if you have to LOOK at them, well it's 10x more uncomfortable.

Which leads me to this crazy guy yesterday on the train, who- inches from my face, and at about my height (short guy), STARED unrelentlessly at me the WHOLE trip. I even did the "hey, I'm looking back at you because I know you're staring and I want you to stop" thing, and he only turned away for a second. Then I got self-conscious: is there something on my face? Is my mascara running from my face in this other guy's back sweat? (kidding!) I got off the train, and looked over my shoulder every step to see if this psycho was gonna pull out a bic pen he'd sharpened into a weapon or something... (I dunno, my imagination took hold.)

Turns out, he was just your typical rush hour commuter weirdo.

Creepy Kiddy Rides!

Meredith Allen is a photographer who did a gallery of shots of creepy quarter rides from all over the world. You can check out the whole creepy collection HERE.

Do you remember begging you parents for a quarter to ride these things at the mall? If you did, then you can officially say you had a great childhood! Good times!

Perspective art

Pretty cool art painted in the subway (not in NYC, though). It really messes with your head!

Vogue on Aisle 3

For: you

How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to. Maybe some people just aren’t meant to be in our lives forever. Maybe some people are just passing through. It’s like some people just come through our lives to bring us something: a gift, a blessing, a lesson we need to learn, and that’s why they’re here…and I’ll have that gift forever.

I don’t want to stop saying hellos for the fear of saying good-byes.

Update

Ok, so update on my addiction to diet cola- on Monday, I went "cold turkey" and decided that I would never drink a diet soda (pop) again. I had no problem with cravings, shakes, hallucinations, you know all the expected vices of an addict trying to stay sober...

THEN, when I was leaving work and got on the subway home, the WORST headache of my life hit me like a freight train. It was located directly over my left eye, and I could barely see walking home. I tried several remedies: I thought it was because was dehydrated, so I drank a ton of water. Nope. I thought maybe I didn't eat enough during the day, so I ate dinner... Nope. I tried to find Tylenol, but Dan had forgotten to mention that he had used it all (thanks, babe.) I was laying on the couch with my head buried under blankets and pillows, when I remembered I had bought a gel-filled eye mask that you can warm up in the microwave or chill in the fridge. Dan brought it to me (from the fridge) and I put it on. We started giggling because since it was sitting next to the Brie, it reeked like CHEESE! Gross! Dan asked me later, “So, is your cheese mask helping?” I couldn’t take it anymore, and I begged him to run down to the corner store and buy me some PILLS. After gulping them down, I put myself to bed at 8:00.


Yesterday, around 2 in the afternoon, I started to feel the SAME headache coming on. That’s when it clicked that it was the CAFFEINE withdrawal from cutting out my diet pepsi! I wasn’t willing to suffer any longer, so I decided it’s best to wean myself off the colas for now… I filled my glass with about an inch of diet pepsi, and threw it back like a shot. Guess what? NO headache!

It’s awful, when you realize what all that diet soda must have done to my body- it’s really like an addiction; I can’t live without it! I think I’ll start trying green tea in the afternoon, and keep limiting my diet pepsi intake to just a quick shot if necessary.

Spread the word!

My new favourite internet pastime is QUESTION SWAP. It's the greatest concept- you can place random questions anonymously, and millions of people will anonymously post answers. Some of the funniest/most intriguing questions posted include:

Q: Where do flies sleep?
A: In a little bed

Q: Is it possible to be too cold to snow?

A: It doesn't snow in your FREEZER, does it?

Q: If In order to save the world, you'd have to lay waste to one nation, which would it be and why?

A: Antarctica. If we got rid of that, then maybe just maybe peeps would stop banging on about global warming, and then we wouldn't drown from the ice caps melting

Don't be a Pirate

Come on, give it up guys

In case you didn’t know- bottled water is BAD. I’m currently trying to wean myself off diet soda (the devil’s drink!) and as such, I’m trying my darndest to be a good girl and drink WATER. After hearing the buzz about the anti-bottled water movement, I now understand. THIS ARTICLE , published in the New York Times, really challenged me to stop choosing convenience over the environment and give up bottled water for tap water. I am in turn, challenging YOU to give it up too! It’ll save the environment, and your budget too. (Buying bottled water is expensive, when you can get it for FREE!)

Sun/Scum protection

In NYC, sunglasses aren't a fashion statement, they're a necessity. I'm not one of those crazies that wear sunglasses indoors, or underground in the subway, but I rarely am outside without them, even if it's cloudy, foggy or semi-dark. The reason? I came to the realization that sunglasses aren't so much for protection from the SUN- they're just as much considered eye safety goggles!

When walking down the street, if you don't have sunglasses or any glasses for that matter, you will inevitably get dirt, dust, debris and soot in your eyes. It stings, it burns, and of course you don't wanna rub your eyes with your hands, because you've just been holding onto a slimy, steamy subway pole on the train for 20 minutes. I must have built up the immune system of a superhero, when you consider the elevator buttons have been pressed by a couple thousand people a day, the handrails on the escalators probably have fecal matter on them... yuck!

When it's hot and humid, like it has been for the last few weeks, you can literally feel the dirt and dust sticking to your face. When a city bus roars by, or a diesel truck puffs out a black cloud as you're waiting beside it to cross the street, you'll be glad your eyes are at least covered.

Yey for SCUM glasses!

I'm thinking I might buy this...

Someday, when I'm a multi-platinum, global singing superstar, I think I'll buy a house just like
THIS. Check out the virtual tour by clicking on the link!

This mansion is in Marco Island, FL and is 23,000 square feet!!! (Keep in mind, our Manhattan duplex is about 700 square feet!) It's fully furnished, and it's a steal at just $11.5 Million!

I'll have Celine Dion and Whitney Houston over for tea in the breakfast room! Britney, you can come to Carmine's Rehab and stay in the guest house. My concept is to treat addiction by substituting yummy alternatives like skittles and lick-m-aid.

One Million Dollar Coin!

Way to go, Canada!
The Royal Canadian Mint will open bidding on August 16th for the world's largest gold coin! The coin weighs 100KG (220lbs for you Americans), and is worth ONE MILLION DOLLARS! Look, it's printed right on the coin, isn't that so funny?

I'd love to take this coin to the dollar store and buy 1,000,000.00 articles of useless $1 crap. Oh, wait, there's tax- I guess I couldn't quite buy 1,000,000.00 things, then. You'd need an additional $150,000 for the 15% GST Provincial tax in New Brunswick! That's a sickening realization, right there.

Or what about asking someone, "Hey, do you have change for a MILLION?"

Full Deck

This article is the true and documented story of how one man committed escaped from San Quentin Prison using only a deck of cards and a bed. It's absolutely fascinating- waste a minute reading it at work!

P.S. The dogs playing poker have absolutely nothing to do with this story. This picture just makes me laugh! Dogs! ...Playing Poker!.. GENIUS!

I love making fun of Homophobia

New Dad Thinks Baby Might Be Gay

SCOTTSDALE, AZ-Citing "something vaguely effeminate" about his eight-month-old son Michael, first-time father Joe Oebrick, 32, reported Tuesday that he suspects the infant may be a homosexual.

I think I have Carpet Tunnel Syndrome

Photoshop 101

Seriously, I'm so sick and tired of seeing the jenny craig commercials with Kirstie Alley- so, YES, she lost weight. And she lost ALOT of weight, but all of a sudden, she thinks she's Heidi Klum? Look at these pictures, and please just try and convince me that the "after" picture isn't painstakingly airbrushed. This is so far from reality, they may as well just stick her head on someone else's body! I'm sure her gut is still there, but it's just wrapped in 2 layers of binding duct tape, 3 girdles, and 2 pairs of Spanx.

I'm not hating on her for losing weight, but for being FAKE and not relating to the people who are probably watching her on tv and dusting the chip crumbs off their shirts. It's totally false advertising- do you think everyone who signs up on Jenny Craig gets a free photo shoot and professional lighting/makeup/hair team and 20 hours of airbrushing and photoshop? Probably NOT included in the enrollment fee, fair to say.

26...66?

Happy Birthday to Whitney Houston, Melanie Griffith, Gillian Anderson... and of course, ME!
Yikes, I'm officially closer to 30 than 20 now... that's a sudden realization!

What does the "Q" in "Q-tip" stand for?

Wet One!

We had some pretty fierce weather hit NYC this morning. By some miracle, I wasn’t affected at all! The weather service thinks it might have been a TORNADO- isn’t that weird? What is this, Kansas? At around 5am, the storm woke me up and the dogs were barking. Lucky for me, our bedroom is actually located in the basement (downstairs) of our apartment, so I’m sure all our neighbors in the building would be asking to hide out with us.

The real mess was the NYC transit system. Every day, about 1.9 million people commute to work via subway, and with this storm, every train line was shut down. Water poured in and flooded the tracks, so the trains weren’t running. Funny thing is, I made it to work EARLY! I got on the 1 train (local) at 72nd street, and got off at my usual stop, 42nd street/Times Square. When the train stopped at Times Square, they evacuated everyone and police closed off the entrances and wouldn’t let anyone into the subway stations. From that point on, every subway line across Manhattan was closed. My co-worker walked from 125th street in the Bronx down to our office on 45th. That’s 8 miles! The sidewalks were packed, people were fighting for cabs and squeezing onto overcrowded buses. I sure was lucky, cause I just walked upstairs and down the street to my office!

Subways are back on and running, so hopefully I’ll be home in time for Access Hollywood :)

Check out the story here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20177120/

BFF & Baby

I miss you, Kristi! I can't wait till you come to NYC in October!

Create a distraction so I can steal THIS BABY!

We spent the weekend with Danny and Kristi, and this gorgeous little cutie patootie is their baby Ava! I'm gonna steal her! She's SO cute! She loves her Auntie Carmine, too. I'm speaking french to her so she can have secret conversations with me when she's older :) hee hee. It's incredible, she's ALWAYS smiling like this! And look at those dimples... are you kidding me? Get the defibrillator... she's a heartbreaker for sure!

Dan was holding her on his lap at the rehearsal dinner, and when they started bringing the food out, he goes, "I smell CHEESE!" Turns out it was Ava's poopy diaper- HA!

Doody on Danny!

We were waiting for the airtrain from the airport to Manhattan, and Dan thought someone spit and it landed on his arm. Turns out, it wasn't SPIT... it was something that rhymes with "spit."

Dan was yelling at me to help him, but I grabbed the camera first. Hey, it's not everyday that you can capture a tender moment like this!

Hi, oHIo!

Dan and I are flying to Columbus at 6am tomorrow morning. No, not for a

"Britney-esque" party weekend (although I am aware that Ohio is well-known the greatest 24hr party action place in the WORLD! OH YEAH!) We're going to Dan's nephew's wedding, and flying back Sunday morning.

Our canine kids are in the hands of a loving and wonderful live-in nanny for the weekend, so they will continue to be spoiled and pampered while we're away.

I hate to break the news to all you loyal readers of my inspiring and life-changing blog, but I will not be able to post until Sunday :(

Betcha can't wait to see! Patience, dear friends... Patience.

Love you all!

-Carmi & Dan

Apple Pits

Natalie had this nifty necklace on! Isn't it darling? Super FAB!

I told her that it could also be used as an armpit COMB! EWWW... GROSSIE!

To be honest, I think we've all stood next to people on the subway who could certainly use an armpit comb.

Dinner a sept (that's seven, in french...)

Dinner with 6 sensational friends... way high class bunch, too. Of course, nothing but gourmet for us. That meant pizza and beer.

When the check came, I was busy playing with the camera and took this accidental picture. Oh well, let's put it on the blog anyway!