Since becoming a mom of TWO, I've realized the rarity of both kids sleeping at the same time, and having enough mental dexterity and adequate sleep to do anything but pass out from exhaustion if they actually do. Both kids are just amazing- Sevryn is the best big sister and so mature for her age of just barely 2, and Wilde is very mellow, easy-going, and patient. But that doesn't change the fact that you basically don't sleep at all for the first 6 weeks, and now that I have a 2 year old, I don't have the opportunity to nap or rest all day either. It's full steam ahead, 24 hrs a day, bascially!
Wilde is growing SO fast! No one told me that your babies grow faster the more you have! I swear I put him to bed as a newborn and he woke up as a chubby active BABY! He turned 6 weeks old yesterday, and many people have asked about his birth story, so since it is quite remarkable, I thought I'd share! If you'd like to hear more, and don't mind candid talk about childbirth, read on...
Wilde's baby shower/Sevryn's 2nd birthday party was on Sunday, the 21st of July. My due date was August 16th, so I was 36 weeks and 2 days in this photo, taken at the shower. Note how enormous.
I was feeling Braxton Hicks contractions for several weeks at this point, and although I didn't have any other signs of pre-eclampsia, my hands and feet were tremendously swollen, and I was measuring so large that my midwife had ordered an ultrasound and blood work two weeks earlier. The ultrasound showed my amniotic fluid levels were perfect, baby was healthy, measuring about 6.5 pounds (normal) and due date was still showing August 16th. At my 36 week check-up the Tuesday after this photo was taken, I told the midwife that I was certain I was not going to make it to my due date. She laughed, and said all moms feel this way at the end. I was like, "NO. You have to understand, I FEEL different." I felt the same way I felt just days before delivering Sevryn: I was restless, couldn't sleep or stay in one position for more than a few minutes, felt contractions and a heaviness in my lady gaga area. This pressure I like to describe as "10 hrs on a bicycle seat" type of discomfort: it literally felt like I was sore from riding a bike or an intensely long spin class. I also started feeling pressure in my rectum, where I was literally dashing to the bathroom every 20 minutes thinking I was about to poop, but nothing happened. I knew from this symptom that the baby's head had to be very low and this baby was ready to come, regardless of what the doctors and midwives were telling me. My husband placed his bets that the baby was going to be born that weekend, and he cancelled his trip to go out of town for business in Boston that Thursday and Friday, just in case.
I was determined to use the birthing center this time (since last time, I was supposed to, but there wasn't a room available) so I knew I needed to make it to 37 weeks to qualify. Those last few days I literally parked my butt on the couch with my feet up, and tried everything to not have to move or get up. Sevryn and I played with stickers, coloring, puzzles, books, iPad, anything that didn't require me moving. I tried to limit going upstairs to once or twice a day max. I didn't leave the house because of the heat, and I was drinking as much water as I possibly could to stay hydrated.
Sevryn's birthday was on Wednesday, the day after my midwife appointment. My brother, Stan and my niece, Navy, and my brother, Nolan were in town visiting, and we had a cupcake to celebrate Sevryn's birthday in the morning. (Don't worry, she had a big party the weekend before, remember?)
This is the last picture of me pregnant- just hours before I would go into labor. After Nolan & my husband both headed off to work, Stan & Navy left around 10am to drive back to Montreal, and Sev and I settled back to our books and puzzles. Sevryn took her afternoon nap, and I laid down as well. When she woke up, I got out of bed to go get her in her room, and I felt Braxton Hicks contractions again. Around 4pm, I started making dinner for Sevryn, and I realized I was still feeling the Braxton Hicks. I was worried that they would turn into real contractions, and I was still 2 days away from the 37 weeks full term mark, so I drank an entire gatorade for electrolytes, and kept drinking water, in hopes that maybe I was just dehydrated and feeling contractions because of that.
Sevryn ate dinner, and I text my husband and told him we would have to change our plans for the evening. We were going to take Sevryn to the carousel at Bryant Park, and then go out for ice cream for her birthday, but I told him I just wasn't feeling up to it, and was extremely uncomfortable. I didn't think it was a good idea to be hauling around town with a stroller and going up and down the subway steps. I did some laundry, took a shower, walked the dogs and tried to see if some activity would curb the contractions. It did not.
At 5pm, I decided to call the midwives, since I figured they would probably still be around the office, and I should give them a heads up since I might have real contractions coming in the next few days or so. At this point, I counted 10 contractions at 2-3 minutes apart, lasting for 60 seconds each. The midwife said come to the hospital. I said, "Ok, no problem, my husband will be home from work around 7, and then I'll get a friend to come babysit, and then we will take the subway to the hospital, and meet you there around 8:30." She said "NO. Come NOW!"
I got my hospital bag, got Sevryn's shoes on, and called a car service to pick us up at our front door. I still thought I was just having false contractions, and they would stop at any time. They were so mild and no big deal to me. I felt I was inconveniencing the midwife, but she insisted that since I had such an insanely fast delivery with my first (arrived at the hospital at 2:05pm, delivered her at 2:45pm!), I needed to take this seriously. I text Daniel and told him to meet me at the hospital instead of meeting me at home, and had our babysitter meet us at the hospital as well.
I'll never forget that special cab ride with my little sweet girl, Sevryn sitting in the middle of the back seat, beside me in the car. I looked down at her and wondered if this was the last ride we would take together with her as my only child. I wondered how she would accept all this. And I marveled at just how big and grown up she seemed to me that day.
We arrived at the hospital and took the elevators up to the 11th floor. We went to the waiting room for triage, where I filled out forms and waited for (no joke) an hour and 15 minutes. It's a good thing I did go to the hospital so early! The midwife was right about that! Daniel met me at the waiting room, where I was walking and pacing through the mild contractions, and Sevryn was sitting and playing on the iPad. Our babysitter arrived shortly after Daniel did, and she then took Sevryn back to our apartment, where she would spend the night with her and sleep over.
We were admitted to triage, and they hooked me up to monitors to see if I was having real contractions or not. They gave me an IV of fluids, to see if that would stop the contractions, since I was still technically pre-term by 2 days. The first bag of fluids went through and I was still having contractions. They gave me another bag of fluids. By this time, it was about 11pm, and they decided to check my dilation. I had dilated from 1/2cm to 2 cm in an hour, so they said, "yup, you're having a baby," and they admitted me to L&D. It was just shy of midnight by now, and while I was glad that I had made it to midnight and this baby would have its OWN birthday, and not have to share the same day as Sevryn, I was sad that once again, I would not be able to deliver in the birthing center. I was 36W6D and knowing my history, I wouldn't be another 24 hrs in labor to make it to 37 weeks full term!
I was still on the contractions and fetal heartbeat monitors, which were strapped around my belly. The baby was moving constantly, and was very low in the birth canal, ready to come out, so the machine kept "losing" the baby's heartbeat. I asked that they please just take the monitors off completely, like I had with my first baby, but since the baby was considered a "preemie," they had to take all the precautions and had to keep the monitors on throughout labor and delivery. This was extremely frustrating, because contractions had picked up and I wanted to be able to walk or at least STAND and sway my hips or move around and get this baby out. Laying on a bed is SO uncomfortable when you're in active labor with no anesthesia.
Between 12am and 2am, they dimmed the lights, kept the monitors on, and had me lay on my side so that the monitors could pick up the heartbeat. I tried to rest as much as I could in between contractions, but this was so much more painful because my coping mechanisms were limited, as I was strapped to these awful machines and IV. I remember hearing Daniel snoring in the chair beside the bed, as he was passed out sleeping, and thinking of the irony- here I am doing perhaps the HARDEST work and effort of my life, and the man gets to sleep comfortably in a la-z-boy, snoring away! Haha
At 2am, the contractions were getting really intense, and I called for the midwife to come in and check again. I was 5cm. The baby's heartbeat started doing weird things- apparently, it would accelerate after a contraction, which is uncommon especially for a baby of less than 37 weeks. Most babies DEcellerate during the middle of a contraction, because of the stress and pressure of the squeezing contraction moving their bodies down the birth canal. My baby's heart beat was accelerating AFTERWARDS, which they said is actually more typical of a LATE term baby, where the placenta is just about pooped out from providing nutrition to the baby. Interesting, right? I wasn't concerned, it just confirmed my suspicions that the baby WASN'T premature; it was exactly ready to come out!
The nurse and midwife got a little nervous about the atypical heartbeat pattern, and suggested we break the water so that the labor will speed up and the baby will come out in case there's any distress. I said I was game, and I knew that historically, when the water breaks, it's like a waterslide that slides the baby right on out FAST, so I was ready to be done with these contractions and hold my baby! They broke the water, and I asked if NOW I could please stand up beside the machine and sway or bend or stretch to guide the baby out. They said no, I had to lay on my side still on the bed. This is where I literally, lost it and got all mama bear aggressive.
I told them that I could literally FEEL the position of the baby, because I could feel where the toes and feet were kicking, and it was right under my left ribcage. When I had a contraction laying on my side, I felt INTENSE pain on my right hipbone/pelvis, which indicated to me that the baby was laying diagonal, and needed to move straight up and down to come out, obviously. The baby was grinding or getting stuck on my hip bone and I would never be able to guide the baby into position while I was stuck laying on my SIDE in bed, with my legs together and hips closed up tight! I told them, as calmly as I could at that point, "I chose an unmedicated birth because I believe my body communicates with me and the baby communicates with me how I need to move and adjust so that it can come out easily. What you're doing, is forcing me to IGNORE what my body and my baby is telling me, and I am really terrified that if I don't get up and change position, this baby is going to be stuck and get into distress and I will be rushed off for a c-section. So PLEASE PLEASE let me get up! At least let me get onto all fours like how I delivered my first baby!"
They agreed to let me get up on all fours. That felt tremendous- the pain in my hip was gone, and I felt the baby move into a vertical position. All was well, and I was ready to push this baby out. Then, the machine started beeping because the heartbeat was lost again since the baby moved. They all freaked out, and told me I had to lay back down again. I was begging and pleading, almost in tears at this point, saying I absolutely could NOT lay down, and please just let me push the baby OUT and then you can check the heartbeat! I asked if there were any other options for monitoring, and the midwife said I could have an internal monitor placed on the baby's head. I asked if there was any risk of complication or injury for the baby. She said no, but it's pretty uncomfortable and painful for me to have it placed and have it there while I'm pushing. I said "GREAT! LET'S DO IT! QUICK!" I was willing to endure any type of additional pain, just to get this baby out and listen to what my body was telling me to do. At this point, labor isn't exactly COMFORTABLE anyway, so how much more painful can it get as opposed to laying on my side with my legs together?! UGHH!!
The monitor went on and I didn't even feel anything. The baby's heartbeat was strong, loud, and perfectly normal (just as I thought! Ha!) Suddenly, the urge to push came, and the midwife yelled for the nurse. Yelled once again, then REALLY yelled, because that baby started coming out like a torpedo! The midwife kept telling me, "Stop pushing! Stop pushing! Just let your body bring the baby out!" and honestly, I WASN'T pushing, its just that my contractions were THAT strong and I dilated THAT quickly that the baby had nothing holding back and it was coming out really really fast! It was a pain that was way more intense than I was ready for, because the contractions were so fast and furious I literally couldn't catch my breath to try and carry me through them. I was panting, blowing raspberries with my lips, banging my fist against the pillow, ANYTHING to try and exert the energy that was coursing through me so that I wouldn't push and tear. If anyone's been in labor, you know that NOT pushing is the hardest thing ever! A near impossible request!
The urge to push came at 3:57am (this, I know because Daniel sent a text to his mom saying "Carm is getting ready to push") and our baby was born at 4:06am, just 9 minutes after that text was sent! Because he was a "preemie" ( I always put that in quotes, because obviously, he was right on time!), they cut the cord immediately and had an exam table waiting with a pediatrician and nurse to check him out. It was kind of dissapointing to not have the birthing center "home birth" experience, where I can help catch him and hold him on my chest or have a water birth, but I'm just really glad I had such a short and easy labor. He screamed and screamed nice and loud, which was good to hear, and the pediatrician said, "he's perfect!" which I already knew :) He scored a 9/9 on the APGAR scale, and weighed in a healthy 7lb 9oz and 20 inches long.
As they were examining him, I looked over at Daniel and said, "That was wild! His name should be Wilde," which we kind of laughed about. We debated several names over the next day and a half, and finally came back to Wilde, because it just looked like it suited him so well! All the nurses and doctors have commented that it's such a great name, and we like it a lot. His middle name, Augustus, has 2 meanings: first, it's the middle name of my father and grandfather, and second, it's the month he was SUPPOSED to be born, and we thought it should be noted that he came so early and surprised us!
It was so cool to hear Daniel say, "It's a BOY!!!" as he was born. I just kept crying and saying, "I have a SON? I have a SON!
