Why, Cingular? WHY?!

I don't WANT to be an AT&T customer! I want Cingular back!

Is this for real?

ABC news is reporting that an 11 year old in Alabama shot this 1,050 lb wild hog. Check out the story here: http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=3213852

I dunno, I'm trying not to be cynical, but can you really believe everything you see in a photo? I mean for crying out loud, you can do some pretty realistic stuff with just basic knowledge of Photoshop. Maybe it's even as simple as him crouching 20 feet away, and the camera being up close to the big pig.

Check out some more cool picture trickery, or if you really have time to waste, go to www.worth1000.com

Too Skinny? Poor Thing!

Can you believe that there was a time when ANTI-diets were the popular trend? With pictures of anorexic (or "tanorexic") celebs splashed across magazines every day, it's hard to imagine when girls felt bad about being SKINNY! This is an ad for a seaweed pill that was marketed to help you GAIN weight and glorious curves!

I'm DYEing to know...

http://http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,274257,00.html

So, officials in Alaska have decided to start dyeing bears blue, yellow, orange and green to indicate "problem bears." They will tranquilize the bears, bleach their neck and butt (so that you can see the colors coming and going...) and then apply drugstore dye and release them back into the wild. If you don't believe me, check out the link above to the article on Fox News. Wildlife officials believe that if someone is attacked, they will be able to identify the bear (in a lineup?) by the colors, and then rangers can euthanize the bear so that it won't hurt anyone else.

I could go on forever at how cruel and absolutely ridiculous this seems, but it doesn't take a brilliant mind to figure out that turning the grizzlies into GUMMY bears isn't the solution, here. First, the bears are just doing what bears do, and protecting their young while their homes and normalcy is being invaded. Some people are concerned that the bears might not behave normally and be accepted among other bears after they've been colored like a box of crayolas. Hey, why not dye a big TARGET on their backs, for crying out loud!

What if we transferred this idea to human society, and started labeling "problem humans?" Would a child molester be dyed green, or a murderer be colored purple? And hey, aren't the bears going to have to worry about scheduling a "root touch up" every 6 weeks after their little beauty treatment? Doesn't drugstore dye wash out in, say, the RAIN? Hey, instead of spending your last waking moments while being mauled by a grizzly, trying to check out it's dye job, how about you play dead and cover your head to save your life? Or maybe the brain that you're trying to protect is really not that smart anyway...

P.S. See my photo above? Word of advice: DON'T Google "Gay Bear"... well at least not at work! Enough said!

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"

The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"

The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"

Ummm... no thanks.

I just opened my email, and I was greated with this lovely subject line...

Flush 20 Excess Pounds out of your Colon!
From: Colon Cleanse Support (http://by123w.bay123.mail.live.com/mail/ApplicationMain_11.10.0000.0103.aspx?culture=en-CA&hash=2467950107#)
You may not know this sender. Mark as safe Mark as unsafe
Sent:
May 20, 2007 2:12:27 PM
Reply-to:
Scarify@blackmert.info
To:
carmineblinn@hotmail.com

One word: GROSS!! If you have 20 lbs of anything in your colon, well, I don't know what to tell ya.

Be Brave, Dan!

This afternoon, Dan and I went to the Tattoo Convention, held here in NYC. Dan had decided to get his nose pierced twice, with 2 hoops on one side. I was on hand to watch, build up his courage, and of course, take pictures for all of you to enjoy!

Step one: Dan gets a lovely little drawing on his nose of where the piercing will go. Next, a big hollow needle gets shoved down through his nose, and then the hoop is threaded through the hole and latched closed. OWWWWWIEEEE! Then, REPEAT! I didn't take pictures during the process, because I didn't want to be blamed if the flashed caused the piercer guy to push the needle into Dan's eye or something...

He was tough, and made it through with minimal bleeding and crying. Way to go, Baby! The piercing artist reminded Dan to avoid getting hit in the face for a few weeks, since it will be sensitive. (I warned Dan that he should drop out of his underground Fight Club this week, just in case...) After the torture session, we wandered through the convention. One gentlemen in particular was pretty hard to miss...

He also advertised to me that he's SINGLE... Can you believe it, ladies? (Note my uncomfortable, forced smile in this photo.) "Hurry and take the picture, Dan!"While this picture was being taken, a bunch of big tatooed, leather-clad biker guys stood around and said, "Oooh, nice ass!" (I hope they were talking about the tatooed guy...)

After a while, I began to appreciate the beauty of being tattooed head to toe, and Dan and I got inspired to get full body tat's as well. What do you think?

Here comes the...

It's that time of year again, folks- wedding season. Dan and I have 5 weddings to attend this summer, and ALL of them are out of state! You know what this means? SHOPPING! I'm hoping to find ONE dress that I can wear to all of the weddings. This is a difficult task because the weddings range in formality, location, and climate. Dan and I have dedicated tomorrow as "Dress shopping Day," where we will drag ourselves all over the city in search of the perfect dress and suit (and of course, shoes to match, right ladies?) Also, tomorrow will be GYM shopping day. Dan has decided to join a gym and as his tireless supporter, I will be joining as well to motivate, encourage, and eat ice cream in front of the fatties on the treadmill. KIDDING!

I'll bring my camera along to document the event, and you can vote on your favorite "look." It really won't even matter what you think, though, because I'll have already bought the dress. Too bad! Bad news is, it's supposed to rain all weekend, so it will be hard to confidently spend all day trying on dresses while your hair is wet and matted to your face. Sounds like this is gonna be FUN!

Just a thought...

Instead of the dove, why not make the pillow the international peace symbol? It has more feathers, and no pointy beak to peck you with.

Reunion!

It's been YEARS since Sarah, Amanda and I have been together all in one place! We started singing together in matching dresses that my mom made when we were 4, 5, and 6 years old!

Ben... hey, over here!

So good to see Sarah and Ben again! Thanks for ruining the picture, BEN! J/K

If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!

- Jack Handey