Vegan Cleanse

Dan and I started a 2 week vegan diet to "de-tox" between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Although we didn't really overeat at Thanksgiving (we ordered at a restaurant, so no leftovers!), we thought it would be a good time to try a vegan lifestyle.







For those of you who don't know, vegan is NO animal products. That means, no meat, poultry, fish, OR eggs, milk, butter, cream- even gelatin is off limits because it's made with animal products. Veganism promotes ethical and conscientious decisions about the treatment of animals, and most vegans won't wear leather either. Everything comes from the earth, and centers around a lifestyle of vegetables, grains, legumes, soy, and fruits. We have several friends who have been vegan for many years, and it's much easier to do here in NYC where there are tons of food options available.







I researched and put together 14 different vegan meals to try for the next 2 weeks. I copied all the recipes and compiled a shopping list. Then I ordered the groceries online and had them delivered on Friday. Beginning on Saturday- NO ANIMAL PRODUCTS. We've had friends who have done a 2 week or even 30 day vegan cleanse, and they claim that they lost between 9 and 7lbs just in the first week, as their digestive systems became better functioning and cleansed of all the animal product toxins that remain in the body long after digestion.







Dan and I are drinking plenty of extra water, and taking iron supplements, B12 supplements, and a daily multivitamin. It's also important to note that vegan diets need to be carefully focused on HEALTHY eating, because technically, you could eat french fries, potato chips, and beer and consider yourself "vegan!"







Check out the picture I took of some of the groceries for our 2 week vegan cleanse as I unpacked. Honestly, I've never cooked parsnips, tofu, or a lot of this stuff before, but it's kinda nice to open the refrigerator and see such a colorful spread of vegetables!




On Saturday morning, we had steel cut organic oatmeal (made with water, not MILK!) for breakfast, with all natural (Canadian!) maple syrup for flavor. For lunch, I made my first vegan recipe: Southwestern Pasta. Here is a picture of it on the stove- doesn't it look great? I love the colors! Check out the recipe below:


Southwestern Pasta
8 Servings
1 tablespoon salt
1 pound rotelle (wheel-shaped pasta or spirals)
1 16 oz. jar salsa
1 4 oz. can chopped green chilies
2 15 oz. cans black beans, rinsed and drained
1 green onion, finely chopped

In large pot, bring 4 quarts of water to boil. When water boils, add salt and pasta, stirring to prevent sticking. Cook until al dente, stirring occasionally, about 11 minutes.
Meanwhile in medium saucepan, combine salsa, chilies, and black beans. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until mixture simmers but does not boil. Continue to simmer over very low heat. Scoop out half cup pasta water and reserve. Drain pasta and transfer to serving bowl. Add salsa-bean mixture and toss to coat. Add green onion; toss to mix. If it seems dry, add some of the reserved pasta water.


This was SUPER easy and fast to make, and Dan and I loved it! That's saying a lot, since Dan's known to be pretty picky! I also added about 1 cup of corn- VERY yummy! We ate this for Saturday lunch, then re-heated for Saturday dinner, and then again for Sunday! It's great for leftovers. I was also thinking that if you make the vegetable/bean mix, it would be really good over brown rice INSTEAD of the pasta.

I'll keep you posted on how the rest of the cleanse goes! FYI, don't start the vegan diet unless you're close to home for the first few days- we were GLAD we had 2 bathrooms, if you know what I mean! I weighed myself yesterday and then again this morning, but my weight was exactly the same. We'll see if the whole 7 lbs thing is true.

For breakfasts this week, we're going to continue with the oatmeal thing, or maybe fresh fruit salad or berries if we get sick of it. Lunch will be leftovers from the previous night's meal, and then dinner will be a new recipe each night! Snacks are easy: peanut butter and celery, chips and salsa, dried fruit and nut mix, guacamole and chips or baby carrots, etc.

Wish us luck!

JONAS BROTHERS! AAAHHHHH!!!!

This is the scene outside Barnes & Noble, beside our office building on 5th ave. Today is WEDNESDAY, Nov. 26. Wanna know why these people are camped out in line? To see the JONAS BROTHERS at their book signing!

But... guess when their book signing is? FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 28!! That means these people are skipping Thanksgiving and sitting in the cold for 3 days to see the Jonas Brothers. Ridiculous!
I'd rather have a hot turkey leg and a slice of apple pie, wouldn't you?

I don't think I want to go on a cruise...

Check out this footage from a cruise ship dining room that hits rough seas. It starts off slow, so watch for a bit and then fast forward to about the 5:00min mark. By the end of the video, the dining room is completely TRASHED!

The blush incident

This morning, I was putting my makeup on for work and I think I got a little TOO MUCH BLUSH on my brush! Yikes!

I tried to rub it in, or share some with the other cheek, but alas, I had to wash my whole face again and start over. Geez.

This picture is funny, though- right? LOL

Hmmm.... I'd love to hear what you parents think about this:

Here's a comment I found posted on ABCnews.com

I wonder what role TV plays in this. Seriously. There are many studies to show how brain damage can happen by age 3 if kids watch too much tv. Every single study they do on TV has horrid results. The American Society of Pediatrics actually says NO TV for children under three. NONE. a nd there are real reason for this, complicated real reasons. Some kids are impervious and TV does not affect their brain growth that much, for others, it can trigger autism or other brain malfunctions and if their brain does not develope properly from a young age, chances it will ever fully be normal are very low. I think we need to look into exactly what TV does. TV is unnatural, both in how often the scene changes ( on average, from a half second to 3 seconds) to the fact that there is always movement _ such is not true for hte real world. When you shut off the tv and are left in aboring room with the same view 100% of the time unless you physiclaly move, simple things like listening to a sentence your parent says is unbearable, infuriating. Why are there so many mentally ill kids? they do studies on top of studie son vaccine and come up with NO LINK, however every study they do on TV has a very strong causal link, yet everyonefreaks out because no one can imagine saying no to tv for their kids and advertising dollars woudl be lost. but I think there is a link. As a parent, of a family that has TONS of autism in it, and sees my kids troubled friends and even my youngest is not as thoughtful as the older ones, why???? Tv exposure. I now severly limit my youngest tv exposure and have already seen a difference, but as a mom of four, I understand the temptation of silence of kid watching tv. but it's dangerous.

Thoughts? Comments? What do you parents think? Agree or disagree?

Pet shelters are suffering in this economy too!

Check out this article from Lemondrop.com

Most people consider their pets to be part of the family. This means doing for them what you do for the rest of your kids: feeding them, clothing them, breaking them out of jail ... After a Dallas man's lost cat turned up at an animal shelter, the pound billed him $132 to get it back. Upset with the fee, he left without the cat. Then he returned to the shelter, catnapped the kitty and threatened the staff with a baseball bat. Police are still searching for the man, who could be charged with aggravated robbery and two counts of assault.

Perhaps the man hasn't heard that the shaky economy has been hitting animal shelters hard. With the rising cost of animal maintenance and the decline in pet adoption, some shelters have to close their doors to our homeless furry friends. And with more people dumping their animals at the shelters to cut costs (and as they downsize from mortgage-crashed houses), many of these nonprofits are seriously suffering.

"You have to factor in electric bills, health costs, just food to feed the animals. A bag of dog food is $20 a bag. That will only feed one dog per week," Jennifer Petrain, a PAWS Volunteer, told ABC.So next time your lost puppy has been found at the local animal shelter, don't be like Bat Man. Pay your dues, grab your cat, and maybe take an extra one home with you.

Court demands $101 Million from a homeless man

Incredible story- definitely left me shaking my head! Check out the article HERE

Laserz!

Please take a moment this morning to welcome CARI JO to my blog list! She sent me a link to her blog and I was ECSTATIC to see that she made it on to the We have Lasers website that I blogged about a few weeks ago!

Check out her blog to see! It's amazing. Now I personally am friends with an internet celebrity!!

Facebook Friend-ing

I recently read this article about Facebook friending, and how awkward it can become when someone tries to friend you that you barely even know. Sometimes, it's uncomfortable because you don't WANT to be friends with them!

I've dealt with this situation too- people come out of the woodwork, and suddenly I'm getting requests for random friends of friends that I don't even know, or people that I went to elementary school with and don't even REMEMBER speaking to! Ever!

I recently went through my friend list and "edited" (is that mean?!) my friends. Basically, if I had no idea who you were, or didn't ever remember speaking to you, you were GONE. I wondered why I had accepted all these friend requests in the first place! I guess I feel really guilty if I didn't befriend these people.

So then I got stricter and told myself that I'm not trying to be in a competition to have the most number of facebook friends possible: the rule was, if I don't know you, I hit "ignore." I mean, if I haven't spoken to you in YEARS, or haven't even thought of you, there's probably a reason, right? I wish there was a social networking site like facebook that was for "acquaintances" or "I think I kinda know ya's."

This worked out well, but then one day I got an EMAIL message on facebook, from a person I had ignored! So, what did I do? I IGNORED THE MESSAGE! And sure enough, a couple weeks later, I got another friend invite from that same person, with ANOTHER email, blatantly saying they were offended and hurt that I didn't "friend" them!

THEN, some of the people I deleted started sending me friend requests AGAIN! Ugh, this is getting ridiculous! If Seinfeld was still on, I'm sure they'd have a show about Facebooking, and feeling OBLIGED to friend people that you barely know, and then offending people if you don't... can't you picture it!

Oh, and it goes without saying, none of my readers of this blog are part of this facebook unfriending thing. If you're reading this, rest assured. You ARE my friend. (And don't send me emails telling me off!)

So, how about YOU guys- have you ever had these kind of experiences with facebook? Share your comments below!

Cole Hann

Hey, Guys- I heard that Cole Hann is having a "whisper sale," offering 30% off ALREADY discounted sale items! That means, ladies, you can finally score a pair of the Nike Air high heels! My friend Cory loves 'em!

Check out the website HERE- like I said, 30% off the already discounted sale prices in stores AND online!

Christmas can come early!

Geek Chic

Dan's rocking a new look recently: I like to call it Geek Chic. Nerdy-Cool. The other day, he wore Diesel jeans that were tight rolled at the bottom, this mint green button down shirt, a brown corduroy tie, long tweed jacket, and these gray geek glasses. The glasses are real- we got them at a lenscrafters. He has just a regular non-prescription lens in them, though. He wanted to find the geekiest glasses he could find- I think he succeeded!

True, though- Dan gets a LOT of compliments, even from strangers. He said that someone on the train commented on his coat and said he looked "awesome." What do you think of Geek Chic?

(I think he looks gorgeous!)

Yo, GATES! Let a brotha get ahead!

Saturday night

We started out the night on Saturday at the movies with Elizabeth, Ben, and Natalie. We saw Zack and Miri- it was hilarious! Kinda lame at the end because it got all sappy and followed the same predictable romantic comedy storyline, but all in all, it was fun!

We went to Bar None- one of our favorite cheap dive bars in NYC.

After Bar None, we headed up to 1-2-3 Bar: $1 burgers, $2 shots and $3 beers! We ordered a 3 foot tall beer tube, and Dan made Elizabeth drink from the spout!

Elizabeth decided to do a 2 week vegan detox: we ended up eating 4 orders of fries, sweet potato fries, and potato wedges during the course of the evening, but hey, technically it WAS vegan! Elizabeth and Dan busted out their dance moves when the song "Apple bottom jeans..." came on. That's our theme song!

It's gettin' hot in herr, so take off all your ROBES...

Check out this Senior Citizens HIP HOP CHOIR! They're fantastic! This is a medley of some of their greatest performances: watch out for Don't Cha, Can't touch this, and Hey Ya!

This is fantastic- someone, please book these guys for a sweet 16 party or something!

¡uʍop ǝpısdn ǝdʎʇ

Here's a cool trick: this website converts your text upside down, so then you can copy and paste into your status message or blog or whatever.

Doesn't she look great?

Amy Winehouse cut her famous beehive into a short little bob. Kinda looks like she gained some weight too- or maybe her stomach is bloated from starvation, who knows?

Whaddya think, folks? Improved?

For some reason, I just love this.

Yog-ahhhhhh!!!!

Ever since Elizabeth and I took a Yoga class in Harlem with our volunteering group, I've been hooked! Yoga makes me feel so centered and gives me so much energy, plus it's amazing how quickly your body responds and how much your flexibility improves just from one day to the next. I've been taking yoga classes at my gym, Equinox, and I had no idea that it was such a cardio workout! I'm sweating and my heart is within just a few minutes of starting the class! It's not just stretching and holding, it's HARD WORK!

Plus, I'm SOOO sore the next day- especially in my core, inner thighs, shoulders and lower back. Wow!

Any other yogi's out there?

Awesome Kids Halloween Costume!

These kids went as the Toy Soldiers from Toy Story! Cool costume, right? I loves!

So, you've been Buried Alive...

I like this article a lot. It's funny. Check it out!

CSI- Miami

Dan and I just recently got on the CSI boat- we had friends that swore it was a great show, but we didn't start watching until TiVo recorded some episodes as suggestions about a year ago. Now, we're HOOKED! So naturally, we wanted to get all the CSI we can get: there's the original, CSI Las Vegas, and CSI New York. But the most ridiculous show (that for some reason, we still find ourselves watching?) is CSI: MIAMI.

THIS ARTICLE is absolutely genius- it calls CSI: MIAMI the greatest worst show of all time. Mostly, because of David Caruso's HILARIOUS portrayal of Horatio Caine. First of all, why is a red-headed IRISH guy playing a Latino character named Horatio? And why does he have to keep taking his sunglasses on and off, and then squinting? If you're squinting because the sun hurts your eyes, just leave the glasses ON!

Here's a portion of the article which is linked above, about Horatio Caine:

"Caine repeats other characters' names multiple times in one sentence for no reason, and always stands at bizarre angles where he's never quite looking at whoever he's talking to. He's constantly removing or putting on his sunglasses, and he makes profound-sounding declarations that are actually trite and trivial. He talks to everyone as if they're children, and although he experiences emotion, doesn't express it verbally or non-verbally.

Caine also walks away in the middle of conversations, and appears just as unexpectedly. On one episode, he appeared in the middle of a street that was just shown to be empty in a wide shot, as if he was some kind of magician.

This magical, odd Caine is the series' worst character, yet he's also the lead, and because he's at its helm, the show teeters toward the being absolutely ridiculous instead of just vaguely believable."

Coffin Couches

COFFIN COUCHES!



Started by a former CSI/current autopsy guy in East LA, these Coffin Couches are exactly that: former resting places for dead people, converted into couches.



Each is customized to-order and takes seven days to make, starting with an 18-gauge-steel coffin abetted by 4-inch heavy duty padding, vinyl, and leather; colors range from primaries, to cow-print.



Later this year CC's creators are planning on expanding into file cabinets, mirrors, and beds!

Distrito

Cory and I had an amazing meal at this new restaurant in University City, Philadelphia. It's Mexican/Southwestern, and it's a playful restaurant that throws back to old Mexico City. There were booths made out of old Volkswagen Beetles, and SWINGS for chairs! We liked the bar filled with Scorpions- tres cool!

The food: AMAZING! Margaritas to DIE FOR! Plus, they offer over 65 tequilas and you can get order a flight to sample 5 or 6 at a time! WOWZA!

Check it out- and DEFINITELY, check it out if you're in Philly! Plus, we got STREET parking and didn't even have to plug the meter after 6pm! It was a culmination of all things fantastic!



http://www.distritorestaurant.com

Happy Holi-deeres?

At walmart, you can also decorate your home with John Deere paraphanalia! Aw, how festive! No redneck Christmas is complete without it!

Gross! Old Cow Leg!!

Cory and I went to the new Walmart in King of Prussia this weekend, and I found this nasty bone in the pet aisle. It said it was a beef bone- blech! A big old cow leg with nasty flesh and skin on it! Look at the size of this thing!

I "bag" to differ

Mayor Bloomberg wants to start charging a fee of 6 cents for every plastic bag used in New York City. Similar initiatives are popping up all over the world- Ireland, for example, charges 33 cents per bag! The program is designed to bring environmental efforts as well as revenue back to the city. Officials estimate that as much as $16 MILLION would be generated just by charging for plastic bags! WOW!

I think it’s a GREAT idea! Dan and I went “bagless” over a year ago. We carry our own bags and use re-usable canvas bags for groceries. Plastic bags create litter, use so much oil to produce, and take hundreds of years to decompose.

This NY Times article details more about the plastic bag tax. True, it would be hard to enforce. Some city council members think that it should be 25 cents, so that it really produces consumer change. (Maybe some people won’t care if they’re charged a measly 6 cents for a bag?) Other people disagree with the fee, and they suggest that poor and homeless people would be affected the most, as they wouldn’t be able to absorb the cost like the rest of us.

To that, I just have to comment that I think the HOMELESS people have the least to worry about. They always have what seems like HUNDREDS of bags with them! Hello?! Why do you think the term “bag lady” came from! Maybe it would encourage them to do their part for the environment, and just put their purchases in their rusty shopping carts or abandoned strollers…

on my radar this week

My new favorite snack is Fage Yogurt! It's Greek yogurt that's plain and SUPER thick and creamy. Different flavors are available, but I'm into this one with the honey on the side. It's amazing! Since it's so thick, it's actually really filling too. The downside? The PRICE! Here in NYC at least, it's $1.99 per individual container. Hey, still cheaper than Starbucks, though.

Demetri Martin

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize.’ Except at a funeral

I went into a deli and got an egg sandwich and a hot chocolate. And then I went outside and I had to get a cab, so I had to put up one of my hands. But I already started eating my sandwich; I took it out of the bag, I was impatient. So my choice was hold up an egg sandwich or hold up a hot chocolate to get a car. So I chose the hot chocolate. And I put it up there and no cab stopped and I realized it was because I looked like I was toasting traffic. Standing on the street, ‘Here’s to you guys, to everybody heading west, I just wanna say I like what you do… but one of you needs to stop, pick me up.

Great Ad!

My friend Bobby took this picture- nice play on words!

And the can of worms is now officially OPEN!

Ok, readers. I'm about to make you uncomfortable. Promise. But something has really been bothering me, and I need to talk about it. Gay Marriage. (anyone still reading?) Ok, good. Now I understand that there are some of you who feel VERY strongly about homosexuality being a sin (and YES, I know what the BIBLE says) but I have been so shocked and saddened at the way Christians have reacted to Proposition 8 in this recent election, and I would feel like a phoney if I didn't speak my mind.



Proposition 8, for those of you (Canadians?) who might not know, is a proposition in the state of California that elects to change the constitution to redefine marriage as ONLY between a MAN and a WOMAN. The same issue was being voted on in Florida, called Proposition 2. On Tuesday, residents of those states were able to vote on the issue, and both propositions were PASSED. In other words, if you're gay and want to get married in Florida or California, you CAN'T. There will be a law in both states' constitution saying no.



This, my friends, is blatant discrimination. Here's why:



If you can't find anyone within the group a piece of legislation it's affecting that's in favor of it, it's DISCRIMINATORY. Get it? NONE of the people who this law is targeting are in support of it! Only those who aren't the subject of the proposition are for it. I sincerely doubt that any same-sex couples are out there supporting this proposition.

It's disgusting that the only social group where it's tolerated by the Christian community or sometimes yes, even ENCOURAGED to be discriminated against are homosexuals. In this society, you wouldn't even think of writing a proposition that denied blacks or native americans the right to marry. It wouldn't even be discussed.

You can believe that homosexuality is something you're born with, or something you choose. But this constitutional law is saying that these people do not have the same rights as the rest of us.

What if we made an amendment for a different group of people, say for example: Jews. Just because the Jewish religion does not see Jesus Christ as their Savior, should we forbid all Jews from walking the same sidewalks as Christians? Or, because African-Americans have darker skin than Caucasians, should they drink from separate fountains?

Mike Tsao posted a really insightful thesis about this issue. In it, he says, "If Proposition 8 were about "values," whatever that means, then you should be able to slice and dice the population any way you want and find people on either side of the issue, regardless of whether they're personally harmed or helped by their position. Example: I'm in favor of women having voting rights, even though I'm a man." That's what it means to vote for VALUES.

But I get it, folks. Most people voted yes on Prop 8 because they believed they had to protect "VALUES." So let's investigate these values, shall we?


Is it because people say it's not "Natural?" That only men and women together can bear children? Then, if that's the case, childless heterosexual couples are deviant. Should Dan and I not have the right to marry if we decide not to have children? What about couples who are infertile? Since they can't have children, they violate the definition of marriage?

If that's the case, then it should be illegal for post-menopausal women to marry. They can't bear children. You see, the value can't be about procreation.

Is it because marriage has traditionally been only between a man and a woman? Hmmm... well let's see: Traditionally black men were lynched for even courting white women. Traditionally it was illegal for an Asiatic person to marry a Caucasian person, and before that in the United States it was illegal for Asian and Native American people to marry at all.

Traditionally slaves in the U.S. could not marry at all! In just the last 20 years it was established that people in United States prisons could marry; before that, not all could. It certainly seems that marriage has certainly changed over the years as society has evolved.

Maybe people are afraid that if gay people could get married, then they could adopt children and raise them in a weird environment? If that's the case, then every person appearing on Cops should be immediately sterilized. Please don't get the government involved in deciding what is and what isn't a "normal" environment for kids. And how could anyone possibly think that it's more acceptable for a child to be raised in an abusive, drug-trafficking, dangerous and abusive family in the ghetto by a HETEROSEXUAL unmarried mother and father who is never around, than by two SAME-SEX people who love the child unconditionally, have the financial means, the education, the extended-family support to protect, love, and raise a tolerant and loving child?! It's uncomprehendible to me.

Alright, let's talk about Religion: Well, what if someone doesn't believe in YOUR God? Do they still have to live by YOUR rules? Christians, we often talk about how blessed we are to live in a FREE country, with the freedom to openly practice our religion and our beliefs, yet don't we understand that that SAME freedom extends to every American? That EVERYONE deserves the right to their own beliefs: muslims, jews, atheists, hindus, and yes, gays. Even if they don't believe what you do, and as much as you want them to, they have every right to believe whatever they want.

Or is it the value that gays are icky to you? Icky people who do icky things in their cold, dark, sinful hearts? That's NOT a value. That's a JUDGEMENT, and it also goes by another name: HATRED.

Above all, Jesus calls us to LOVE. And the message that Christians are sending to the gay community is not about LOVE. It's not making them want to turn to Christ and learn more about your churches. Do you really think that this is fixing anything?! No, it's not about love. It's isolation. Whether you choose to admit it or not, it's sending the message that we are better than them and they are second-class sinning citizens.

The judging. The name-calling. The ignorance. The Bible-banging. It's got to stop. And for those of you that voted yes on the amendment to take away the right for same-sex marriage? May you all be blessed with a gay child.

For my horrible tattoo hall of shame...

Most of you who have been following my blog for a while know that I love to collect pictures of terrible, regrettable tattoos. Which is why, when I found this article online, I couldn't wait to share it with you! Absoloutely brilliant.


THE TOP 10 MOST STUPID TATTOOS
Posted by Johnny Wright

About 15 years from now, there will be thousands of people who have covered various parts of their bodies with tattoos that are going to feel really stupid. It will no longer be trendy and they will spend the rest of their lives explaining why they have all-you-can-eat ink permanently branded on themselves."Well, we were in Cabo and I'd had a few margaritas. I was feeling pretty loosey-goosey, one thing led to another and well, I ended up with Calvin taking a wiz on a Florida State Seminoles logo tattooed on my forearm. I know, it's stupid." Those conversations are going to happen by the bucketful. It's not that I think all tattoos are in poor taste.

The practice is not for me personally, but to each his own. In fact, not that long ago my very conservative father had a milestone birthday and got the Rampant Lion of Scotland tatted on his bicep. It's a small nod to the heritage that we are very proud of. I believe my father's tattoo was thought about for a long time. It was not a spontaneous or booze influenced decision. Sadly many tats are just that; either a spur of the moment purchase or inspired by too much of a favorite tipple.

With other fads, you can participate and not make it a lifetime commitment. You can take the double hoop earrings out pretend it never happened. (If you still have those, you need to take them out.) You can shave off your side-spike. You can take off your parachute pants. It's a little more of a chore to remove your Dane Cook "Su-Fi" tattoo.(Who's going to feel more stupid down the road; The "Su-Fi" tattoo gang or those that have "Git-R-Done" permanently on their body? A tough call. It's a good thing that tattoos weren't as popular on the early 80's or their would be a few people with Yakov Smirnoff on their shoulder blade.)Many will feel stupid, the owners of the following tattoos are going to feel like the southbound end of a northbound horse.

These are the most stupid, most clichéd ink in the book:

10. Anything On Your Rear End - First of all, you have to sit bare-assed in the tattoo parlor for an hour or more. Your keester blowin' in the wind while you get a four leafed clover inked on. Not good.

9. A Looney Tunes Character; Especially Taz - I'm not sure how this became a mark of pride in the redneck community, but I believe it started with the Yosemite Sam mud-flaps. Pretty sure that's right. I've seen Bugs Bunny, Tweety Bird, Daffy Duck, the aforementioned Sam, Sylvester, even Foghorn Leghorn. (Who is hilarious and has one of the best cartoon names ever.) But it's Taz that shows up the most on the farmer tanned biceps.

8. Anything Done By Your Buddies - I don't care if your pal is a pretty good doodler and can draw the Yankees logo and a cocktail napkin. The homemade tattoo always appears to be just that. My cousin spent some time in Nicaragua. He has an amazing photo with his arm around a shirtless cat that has a homemade tattoo of a huge erect penis on his chest. You wonder who's idea it was. Maybe he was so drunk that his friends decided to put a wiener on him as a joke. That's a whole other level from the classic "Sharpie on the forehead" gag.

7. Famous Person That Is Still Alive - Let's say you were a diehard Michael Jackson fan in the late 80's. You had the glove, the zippered jacket, the cat eye contact lenses from "Thriller," the lot. You have the choreography to "Smooth Criminal" down pat. So you get a King of Pop tattoo on your arm. Uh oh. He's a child molester. Crap. That doesn't come off. I bet there is someone with an O.J. Simpson #32 tat still on their calf. You never know when a hero could fall from grace. Also in this category is a band that's not at least twenty years into making records. I know a girl whose little brother had Limp Bizkit autograph his leg, then he had the tattoo artist go over them permanently. Oops.

6. Anything You Think Is Funny - This would be the meat head that has "I'm With Stupid" on his midsection with an arrow pointing down to his junk. The use of a bellybutton for an animal's anus. Good one. You may think you are clever, but it will be funny for fifteen minutes and embarrassing for life.

5. Flames From the Wrist Up - Really hackneyed and lame. You're not on fire. You're a lemming following the others that wear shiny pants and wife-beaters off the cliff of clichés.

4. The Neck Tattoo - This one seems to be growing in popularity. Hardly a day goes by when I don't see a child's name in fancy cursive tatted on a straphanger's neck while riding the 1 train. It's not a good idea unless you are a musician or professional athlete. You are essentially cashing in your respect in society with the neck tat. If you're going in for a job interview and you have a skull and crossbones tattoo peeking out from your shirt collar, I'm willing to wager you're not getting the gig.

3. Any Name of a Significant Other That You Have Not Been Married To For At Least 10 Years - I firmly believe that 90% of the tattoo removal practice's business is from this very mistake. The only one to pull off a fix on this one was Johnny Depp. While engaged to Winona "I'll Just Help Myself To These" Ryder. Depp had "Winona Forever" on his bicep. He later changed it to "Wino Forever." That is kind of funny.

2. The Booty Crease Tramp Stamp - Sorry ladies, this is ridiculous. No intricate design or use of a butterfly makes it original. It only shows you have no individual style and want to be lumped in with the club-hopping Paris Hilton wannabe's.

1. The Tribal Arm Band - The lamest of the lame. I have news for you, Chief, there is nothing "tribal" about your ink. It wasn't designed by the village elders of the Masai tribe in Africa. It was scribbled on a legal pad by a high school dropout that goes by the handle "Fruit Loops." You're a walking billboard for the unoriginal. Every time you think it's cool, you should remember that Nick Lachey and other boy band members have one. I rest my case, your honor.

And finally ... The Lifetime Achievement Award For Crap Tattoos goes to ... The Barbed Wire Arm Band. The barbed wire band would like to thank God, the committee for voting, and Pamela Anderson.

Old School

I don't have kids, but I know alot of my readers do, so that's the reason I thought of you in today's COOL WEBSITE O' THE DAY!

Check out http://acorntoyshop.com/ It's a toy shop in Brooklyn, dedicated to hand-crafted, old fashioned wooden, fabric and tin toys. I think it's fantastic- these are the toys I would want my kids to play with. All those electronic flashing toys that honk, light up, and play repetitive robo-sounding jingles make me want to pull my hair out!

So save your kid from ADD and consider these imaginative and inventive toys: stuff our grandparents and great-grandparents would have played with!

I'm sorry to have to do this to all of you...