29 November 2007

Check out my PLASTICS!







I got my glasses... I mean PLASTICS the other day. They're just a slight prescription, for driving at night or really long distance. The color is a dark eggplant/wine, (even though it looks almost black next to my fair skin.) Whaddya think, do I look smarter? More refined? NERDY!?

Carousel: aka "da horsies"

Colleen and her 2 year-old son, Duncan came in from PA and stayed over at our apt last night. Duncan had a modeling audition for Huggies and he GOT the part! They're shooting the ad today here in NYC. Duncan loves the carousel in Bryant Park, and all he talked about all day was "da horsies" so I went over with them after work. You can't tell from my lame camera-phone picture that he really is a photogenic kid! (Actually, you can't even see his face because he was turned around... oh well.)

You're not on Strike... you're FIRED!

Well, the Broadway strike is over, and the shows are back on in time for the holiday tourist rush. I’ve been thinking about strikes in general, and the logistics of it all, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it is utterly senseless. Think about it this way- if you were to show up for work one day, and decide that you were going to do NOTHING all day but sit in your office, you’d be FIRED. BUT if you decide you’re going to do nothing all day, and don’t come INSIDE to the office and march around outside instead, then that’s called a strike, and you CAN’T be fired for it.

27 November 2007

$4.00 spent elsewhere!

Has anyone else been dragging this week after sleeping in for four days? Yikes! My brain and body are fighting with me…the alarm goes off in the morning and I sleepwalk over to turn it off, then crawl back under the warm blankets and try to mentally coax myself into getting out of bed. We had a restful Thanksgiving- maybe TOO restful, because I’m paying the price for my sleep-vacation now! We drove to Dan’s ‘rents near York, PA on Wednesday, and his mom got up at 3AM to make the turkey! (God Bless her!) We ate early, around 11AM, and with all Dan’s brothers, sisters, in-laws, nieces, and nephews (and great-nephews!) there was about 40 of us! Then, it was nap-time for a good 4 hours. Prince and Romeo even curled up in bed with us and napped! They were stuffed from all the turkey too!

Friday, we slept in again- definitely not into the Black-Friday 4am shopping madness! We went to a matinee at the movies, and saw Fred Claus. Good flick, by the way. I grew up a firm believer in Santa until I was probably in 6th or 7th grade (oh yes, it’s true!) Even now at Christmas, I have a hard time believing that there really isn’t a North pole and elf village somewhere far up there! Dan and I don’t even have kids, but I’m already laying down the law that if we do someday, then we will DEFINITELY be in all-out Santa mode every year. My family would go so far as to make boot prints and hoof prints on the ROOF in the snow, and shake jingle bells outside our windows when we were sleeping so we’d wake up and know that Santa was HERE!

Anyway, I’m going way off on a Santa tangent here… let me bring you back:

So, at the movies, we bought a “value” combo (isn’t that an oxymoron? Value movie theatre popcorn?) with a large drink and a large popcorn for the low low price of $8.50. I was feeling my turkey and pie hangover from the day before, and I decided I should be smart and just drink water. Bottled water was $3.50, so I asked if I could get just regular tap-water. “No problem” was the response. The total came to $12.50. I was confused and the line was long, and I figured it was tax or deposit or something but I asked why it was so much, and the cashier said I had to pay for the CUP. That’s right, people, she charged me $4.00 for a PAPER CUP!! Are you freakin’ kidding me?! No respectable New Yorker would let her get away with such madness, so of course I threw a fit and demanded my $4.00 back. She offered to give me a soda instead, but NO!! That is ROBBERY! It’s an OUTRAGE!! What a hoax! I took my 4 dollars back and gave it to the Salvation Army guy at Walmart after we left- that $4.00 can be better spent elsewhere!

21 November 2007

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!


Evolution of Corporate Mascots

ABC News: Our Top Ten Lists


Find the "Mascot Makeovers" link from the most viewed slideshows located at the bottom of this page. You can view a slideshow of the evolution of various familar product mascots. From the Kool-Aid Man to Betty Crocker, all have recieved some pretty dramatic makeovers during the past century of advertising!

iwantachristmascard@hotmail.com

I'm taking a stand, people: I'm committed to sending Christmas cards this year! Every year, Dan and I pick out cards, buy them, put them in a drawer somewhere, and then forget to send them out! Then, we say "oh, we'll send New Year's cards", but New Year's comes and goes and before we know it, a year goes by and we repeat the whole cycle again! Not THIS year, though! I've created an email account just for addresses, and I'm gonna get cracking early on this. Please, if you read this blog and you will admit that you know us (no shame!) email me your mailing address to: iwantachristmascard@hotmail.comEveryone likes to get mail, right?

Merry Christmas to all!

20 November 2007

La la la...ings, These are a few of my favourite things...

Today is Oprah’s annual Favorite Things show- the show where the audience turns into greedy screaming banshees and gets everything that Oprah says (or is paid to say?) that she likes. In keeping with Miss O’s tradition, I thought I’d make my own favOURite (Canadian spelling, if you will) things list, with some of my favourite things. And guess what? You are all getting these things to take home! Yes, that’s right! All you have to do is click on the link of each product below, add the item to your shopping cart, enter your credit card information, and VOILA! It will arrive at your door! Amazing! I’m curious to know: What are some of your favourite things? Post your comments!

Lindt Chili Chocolate- yes, I know it sounds disgusting, but for the serious chocoholic, it's heaven! A dark, smooth rich chocolate with the slightest kick of spice at the finish. I'm in love!

Prescriptives False Eyelashes Mascara- I hate clumps, but I love long superthick lashes. That's why I love this mascara. It gives you soft, conditioned, feathery lashes that are ridiculously long and are almost too good to be true! I've literally had people argue with me that I'm wearing false eyelashes when I'm wearing this! Uh uh...All real, baby!

Bliss Supershine Lemon + Sage Shampoo and Conditioner- My once frizzy- do want it wants- curly/wavy-outta control mane is now deliciously soft, shiny and smells fantastic! The shampoo tingles and feels minty on your scalp, and the conditioner feels like silk in your hands. The whole apartment smells fantastic after a shower! A little pricey, but it lasts forever since you only need a tiny bit.

The Glass Castle- the best book I've read in a long time. How do I even begin to describe it? Literally couldn't put it down, and passed it on to 3 co-workers, my husband, my sister, and then she passed it on to several of her friends! It's hard to believe it's a memoir, because it's so incredible that someone lived through poverty and homelessness like this as a child. The best part is that the author carrys you through to current day, so you know what happens to everyone in the end. This book deeply affected my outlook on homeless people and poverty in this country.

Blackout- Ok, I know this may surprise you, but Britney Spears' new albulm is good, and I'm not afraid to say it! I know her life is a tragedy, and a train-wreck waiting to happen, but she has managed to take all this negativity and these experiences and produce some great songs and really great lyrics: "I'm Mrs. Extra- Extra this just in, I'm Mrs. She's too Fat now she's too thin" The albulm is hot, the beats are heavy, and (I can't believe I'm saying this!) her voice sounds great- she's stopped trying to oversing herself, and she sounds at home with techno-dance beats and synth effects. Listen with an open mind- you may be surprised to admit you like it too!

Gain Laundry Detergent- Is there anything better than fresh-smelling laundry? Yup- laundry that’s washed with Gain! My closet, drawers, bathroom, sheets, and my whole apartment smells so great for WEEKS! People come into our apartment and ask, “what’s that candle?” or “what’s that air-freshener?” and when I tell them it’s the laundry from 5 days ago, they don’t believe me! Yes, those scents and chemicals may be harmful to your respiratory system, or cause cancer like everything seems to nowadays, but man, it smells AMAZING! I love the green apple, and the outdoor spring air, and the cotton fresh scents. Let’s be honest, I love them all! I actually called the 1-800 number and told them how much I loved the scent, and how my friends have all started using Gain since I advertise it so much, and the company sent me $20 in free coupons for Gain products! Yey, Gain!

Freshdirect.com- Ok, this is a little unfair, because only New Yorkers can enjoy this luxury, but I still have to add it to my list. My life is so much easier now that I order my groceries online! Fresh Direct delivers the same day and has the nutritional value for every item you look at. You can even set up grocery lists and just re-order the same thing from your previous list. You can search for any item, then sort by price, or fat content, or calorie content, or cost/serving! Plus, they have thousands of recipes, and it will automatically add all the ingredients to your shopping cart. In NYC, it’s a pain in the butt to have to carry 12 bags of groceries up and down subway stairs, on the train, or to your apartment 5 blocks away, but Fresh Direct delivers for only $4.99! I can’t imagine a better way to spend 5 bucks then to have someone bring my groceries directly to my door in nice organized boxes that are pre-sorted by frozen, dairy, meat, produce, and grocery categories! You choose your delivery time within a 2 hour time frame from 8am to 10pm 7 days a week (example: 4pm-6pm). You’re never sitting around waiting for the food guy like you do for the cable guy! You can even buy cleaning products, toiletries, beverages, and prepared meals! Genius idea, Fresh Direct!

Russian Navy by OPI- Black is sooooo 2006! I’m way too white to try to pull that look off anyway, because I ended up looking like a depressed Goth chick. I’m totally into this gorgeous dark navy colour for winter- it looks classy but edgy. You can wear it to the office, but it still lets people know that you’re up on the latest trends. Say goodbye to French manicures and nasty acrylic tips, and say hello to Russian Navy! It’s HOT, and I predict you’re gonna see it EVERYWHERE!

Sugar-free Small Altoids - These sugar free small Altoids are powerful! Plus, the little tin is cute and tiny, so it fits in your pocket or your tiniest evening bag. They’re sugar-free too! Way better than the big altoids, and stronger too!

Opalescence Toothpaste- I purchased it at my dentist’s office, but it's also available at amazon.com. It will safely whiten without harsh chemicals or abrasive wear on your enamel. Plus, it’s safe for dental work and even whitens crowns, fillings, and veneers! Makes my pearlies even pearlier!

Greendimes.com- save the environment and eliminate your junk mail! I signed up earlier this year, and it's been fantastic not to have my mailbox jammed with credit card offers, flyers, and junk. Plus, they plant a tree every month in your name! Great idea, and great cause. If you need an idea for a Christmas, this would make an awesome gift!

Secret Clinical Strength- This stuff works! Dan has been stealing mine and asking why they don't make this for men! No more pit stains on a silk blouse! (uh... that was referenced to me, not Dan...)

...wait... huh?

So, I ordered my glasses yesterday (finally!) It took me forever to find a frame that I liked. Since it's just a light prescription, I won't be wearing them all the time, so I wanted something funky and different. I chose a big chunky plastic Burberry frame (and, for the love of crying out loud... please pronounce it correctly, people: "BUR-BUR-ry!") Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine!

The frame is a bright red/violet colour- so fun! They recommended a plastic lens since the prescription is so small. So now, I'm thinking... if my frames are plastic and the lenses are plastic, can I really call them GLASSES? Maybe I should call them PLASTICS...

19 November 2007

(sigh) Someday...


$5 off Fandango!

I hate waiting in line for movie tickets, and I always buy ahead online if it's a show I know will be sold out. That's why I'm pumped that I found this online coupon code for Fandango!

Use code 5FB5-783GCH-3D3H by 11/23/07 to get $5 off your purchase at Fandango!

17 November 2007

Why you SHOULDN'T rent this loft:

My brother, Nolan found this post on Craigslist for an apt in Brooklyn. Hey, at least the guy's honest! Read on...


Studio loft w/ private balcony, exposed brick, and 12 ft

RENOVATED STUDIO LOFT - exposed brick, cherry hardwood, private patio

I have a studio loft available for rent in East Williamsburg / Bushwick. It was renovated 1 year ago. The current tenant is a Columbia University graduate student. The loft is located off the Morgan L. There is a sleeping loft on top of the bathroom & apartment entrance, as well as a private patio. The bathroom is that white room in the architectual sketch.It's a family building (my uncle owns the building and used to live in the third floor, and I live off the L train as well), so if you ever need anything, someone will always be right around the corner.It's a very unique space, so I'm making this posting as comprehensive as possible - including a full list of all the pros (and cons) of the studio.

WHY YOU SHOULD RENT THIS LOFT- IT'S YOUR OWN PRIVATE SPACE. Hate living with roommates and having to clean up after them? Do you have a kinky/weird/creepy alternative life that requires a lot of privacy? Then this apartment is perfect for you! - LOTS OF CHARACTER. We restored the original details and left them in tact, such as the exposed 100-year-old wood beams in the ceiling and the brick wall. Then, we added nice materials like cherry hardwood floors and brushed nickle faucets. - A PRIVATE OUTDOOR PATIO. There's a little 20 square foot private outdoor patio - perfect for barbeques, painters, and smokers. - THE L. The B60 bus stop is directly in front of the building, and the L train takes 15 minutes to get to Union Square and connects to every subway line in Manhattan.

WHY YOU SHOULDN'T RENT THIS LOFT- IT'S SMALL. VERY SMALL. The studio loft is about 250 square feet, but the ceilings are 12 feet high, and there is a mezzanine for extra space. - IT'S 8 BLOCKS TO THE SUBWAY. It's about a 6 minute walk. The B60 bus picks you up right in front of the building, so about 4 times out of 10 in the morning, you can just catch the bus and it's a 1-minute ride to the subway. The other 6 times, you'll have to suck it up and schlep the 0.4 miles (I measured in on google maps). - THE BUILDING SUCKS. My uncle is pretty much the worst landlord possible. The hallways are never clean, there is nothing resembling a mailbox system, and the buzzers don't work. That being said, the studio loft itself is separate from the rest of the building (I renovated it and lease it out separate from my uncle's tenants in the rest of the building), but you should understand that once you step foot outside your little oasis of an apartment, the rest of the building & neighborhood is about as shitty as it gets.



14 November 2007

Matt + Cory 4EVER


Cory and her boyfriend, Matt Lauer. Aren't they a cute couple?!

Riddle me this...

Q: Two girls are born to the same mother, on the same day, at the same time, in the same month and year and yet they're not twins. How can this be?

Post your answers in the comments section, and I'll reveal the solution tomorrow!

13 November 2007

Madison Square Garden Rangers VS Flyers
















My brothers Nolan and Brad, me and Dan went to the Rangers game last week at MSG. The Rangers won 1-0 but the Flyers didn't humiliate themselves like they did last season. They held off 40 shots on goal, and only let 1 slip through, so I'd say it was a pretty good game for both! I took a picture of the Canadian flag hanging in the rafters, because it reminded me of home!
Dan and I were trying Tyra Bank's modeling method in avoiding a double chin in pictures- Dan actually ended up with more of a Jay Leno look, though! Ha!
I'm not sure why I'm punching myself in the chest in one of these pictures... I really don't know what I'm doing there (weird!) The last picture is the dueling zambonis- Brad and I were cheering for them too ( the zamboni guy never gets any love!)
Me likey the hockey!!




12 November 2007

Anyone who knows me (or delivers my mail) knows that I have an obsession with magazines! This is not an exaggeration- I am not in denial about it. I have a problem. Part of the problem is that I've found this website which finds unbelievable deals on magazine subscriptions. I rationalize my addiction as cost-efficient, because for the dirt-cheap price I can get a whole year's subscription, I would pay in buying just 2 magazines from the newsstands!

If you're stuck for a Christmas gift, you can buy gift subscriptions to TONS of magazines- hey, if you wanna know what to get me... well, wait: I already have subscriptions to almost every magazine anyway. Except parenting magazines (thank goodness!) LOL

09 November 2007

Hope it doesn't rain...

"No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather."

- Michael Pritchard

08 November 2007

Hardy Har Har!











When my brothers Brad and Nolan were here last week, we went to enjoy some NYC stand-up comedy at the Laugh Factory. There were 4 comedians, and they seemed to get progressively funnier. By the time the last guy came on stage, I was getting those retarded laughs where you laugh really hard but no sound even comes out... know what I mean?! Ha! The pictures turned out pretty funny too, because they had a strict "no flash photography rule", which means all my pictures basically were BLURRY. Hey, check out Brad and Nolan's cheerful expression in the first picture! To be fair, let me explain that this picture was actually taken AFTER the show. I made them walk back and stand in front of the sign so I could take a picture, and they didn't seem to enjoy being posed like tourists...




Luggin Luggage

Danny, Kristi and Ava flew into NYC to visit for a week! Here was a pic I snapped of Ava's very first (I think?) train ride at the airport!

Hangin' with the Celebs

Don't Panic!

Hello all! Yes, it's been forever since I've posted on my blog, but I promise I'll put stuff up tonight when I'm home from work! I've got great stuff to share, and boy have I been busy! Last week, Danny, Kristi, and Ava spent the week with us, and this past week, my brothers Brad and Nolan were here. On the weekend, Cory came to visit! It's been the Bortner Bed & Breakfast! I've got pics from a comedy show at the Laugh Factory comedy club, Madame Tussauds' wax museum, a midnight prank with "inflatable Mr. Stud", Tuesday's adventures in a Chinatown sweatshop, Rangers game at Madison Square Garden, pics from "the Room" in SoHo, skating in Bryant Park...my camera's gonna blow up! Hang in there, I'll post everything as soon as I can!

03 November 2007

Mom jeans


Awww... I feel bad for Rihanna! She pays $$$$ for a Hollywood stylist, and she gets talked into wearing these hideous acid-washed MOM JEANS on TRL? Hey, I love high-waisted jeans, but these are not cute. :(

01 November 2007

Google-icious!

Ok, ready? This is really going to freak you out! You know that crazy technology that Google Maps uses to view satellite maps of Earth? You can actually see animals! It’s CRAZY! I was skeptical, but it works and it’s kinda scary how vivid the pictures can be. I found this when I was on strike last week, and I wanted so bad to break my strike and post it because it’s just that cool! You’ve GOT to check this out!

First, go to GOOGLE MAPS.
Then, copy the following co-ordinates of latitude and longitude, and paste them into the search bar. Then, click “search maps.” When it comes up, click satellite view, and then, without moving the location, just keep clicking the zoom button as it zooms in on the green arrow that marks the spot. This is crazy!

BUFFALOS: 4°17'21.49" S 31°23'46.46" E
CAMELS: 15°17'40.32" N 20°28'47.42" E
ELEPHANTS: 10°54'13.66" N 19°56'06.15" E
FLAMINGOS: 21°50'36.15" S 35°27'00.60" E
HIPPOS: 6°53'53.00" S 31°11'15.40" E6°54'00.10" S 31°11'11.67" E
ORYX: 24°57'18.60" S 15°51'30.61" E
SEALS: 18°26'45.45" S 12°00'44.20" E

Does anyone know any others? What other cool stuff can you do with Google Maps?

What happened?


Can you believe it’s NOVEMBER?! What happened?! I once heard a quote that said, “life is a lot like toilet paper: the closer you get to the end, the faster it seems to go!” Well, I’m not sure if I’m at “the end” but it sure feels like it’s going fast!

If you’re still in denial about summer being OVER, check out this picture of the snow in Canada- my brother, Nolan, even made a little snowman!
Here comes WINTER!

I'm BAAAAACK....

Nice job, folks! You really came through- you even went over and ABOVE the 15 comments!! I knew you could do it! Ahhh… it’s nice to be back. I’ve got some good stuff to blog about too, ‘cause I’ve been keeping a little post-it with random stuff I need to remember to tell you about. Cory, please send Mr. Stud pics and update me on his whereabouts so that I can put out an APB. Kristi/Danny- please email me pics of me and you with Oprah last week…I can’t believe she let us take a picture with her! Oh boy, I got a lot of catching up to do! Stay tuned!
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