sweet victory!

Attention, folks- this is about to get crazy!
So, check it out I joined… A FITNESS COMPETITION!! What?! I know, it’s hard to imagine, because 12 weeks ago, I was struggling to figure out how to even push the buttons to make a treadmill work! But YES, I’m going all the way! The only way I would sign up, is if I knew I would WIN, so now it’s all I think about- I HAVE to win!

Here’s the rundown: my trainer was pushing me to enroll in this 8 week challenge in a bunch of different areas: pull ups, push ups, distance running, speed, endurance, weight lifting, and weight loss. Since the weight loss challenge is calculated by PERCENTAGE, not total pounds, he said he could put me on a hardcore eating and exercise plan, and I would win for sure. First prize is $500 plus 12 training sessions, which are normally $100 each so that’s a pretty good incentive. Plus, the trainers get prizes too, so of course there’s something in it for him if (I mean WHEN) I win.

Here’s our little plan that we devised: the day of my initial weigh in, I was to drink as much water as physically possible to try and get my weight UP. Plus, eat something with salt. We also decided OATMEAL would be the best way to gain weight because it’s so heavy but it won’t cause long term weight gain because it goes right through you. So, the day of my weigh in, on Friday, I ate 5 bowls of oatmeal- made with just a bit of water so I could barely even stir it. It was like CEMENT! I ate a bag of salty baked lays chips and then drank 2 GALLONS of water! I was ready to BURST, but I couldn’t go to the bathroom until I was weighed! AgghhH!! The pain in my bladder paid off, though- when I weighed in, I was up 19.5 LBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I weighed 176.5!!! That’s crazy!! I wanted to laugh when they weighed me, but I had to play it cool and keep a straight face.

When I told my trainer, he was like, “We are SOOO going to win! You’re already ahead 20 pounds and we haven’t even started yet! MWAHAHA HA!” ( that’s his evil laugh!) So, all weekend, he had me eat grilled chicken, egg whites, and ASPARAGUS, which is a dieuretic, to flush all that water out. On Monday, I was back to my fighting weight of 157. The next 8 weeks are gonna be CRAZY though- I’m preparing myself for brutal beatings at the gym. It’s all or nothing, I HAVE to win!!

Last night was my first training session for the challenge, and my trainer annihilated me. Seriously. Do you ever watch biggest loser? Yeah, that crap was NOTHING compared to this. I used to complain about my workouts being severe, but last night, I had to re-adjust my whole comparison scale of what torture really is! We started with 10 minutes at level 10 on the stairmaster to get my heartrate up, then walking lunges, holding 20lb weights in each hand. I did 20 lunges per leg, 4 times with NO rest. At this point, I was already crippled. Then the real fun began: it was a blur of bench presses, push ups, decline twisting situps, shoulder presses, rows, and squats- and in between, for my “rests”, we sprinted on the treadmill, did suicides, planks, the gauntlet, and more crunches. For most of the workout, I had to do it with my eyes closed and just pretend I wasn’t even there, it was too exhausting if I thought about what I was doing. Sometimes, I imagine I’m laying on a sandy beach, or on a fluffy feather bed- anything to trick my brain into figuring out what my body is doing!

The diet of course, is going extreme as well. We’re doing “cycle” eating: 2 days low or no carb, 1 day moderate carb (mostly protein, but add small amounts of complex carbs: sweet potato, carrots, brown rice) and then 1 day high carb (high protein with small amounts of whole grain bread, fiber cereal, etc.) Then, back to 2 days low carb, and on and on like that. This is supposed to “trick” your body into not anticipating what it’s getting next so that it continually burns the calories as fuel. Yesterday, I ate oatmeal for breakfast, a protein shake, cottage cheese, steamed chicken breast and steamed broccoli for lunch, another protein shake, and more cottage cheese and steamed vegetables for dinner. Today will be about the same thing, then tomorrow I’ll add a piece of fruit or some brown rice for carbs. Between yesterday and this morning, I was down one WHOLE pound, so that’s a good sign!

Monday and Wednesday will be training days, and then every other day I’ll be doing a minimum of 50 minutes of strong cardio, with my heartrate at 80% of max (at least 160bpm.)
VICTORY IS MINE!!!! MWAHAHA HA HAHAHA HAA!