Why I'm taking a break from Facebook

“Dear Facebook,

It’s not me, it’s you. I think we need to spend some time apart.”

I decided to take a break from Facebook. How long? I don’t know. Forever? Probably not. But I realized recently that Facebook has been making me unhappy.

First, because so many of the status updates in my news feed seem to be complaints. Problems, grievances, and “oh my life is so terrible” petty things. I make an effort to have very comedic, light-hearted, jovial status updates, because that’s what I would like to see when I log on to Facebook. Not be negged out with all kinds of pessimism.

Second, I think it’s compromising my efforts to actually communicate and reach out to my close friends. No need to call someone and ask how their day was, when you can see everything about it on Facebook. Right down to what they had for breakfast. I remember the days when friends would get together for coffee, send an email (not a FORWARD, an actual EMAIL!) and even go so far as to pick up the PHONE (God forbid!) to call someone and say a quick “hello.” I hope that by giving up Facebook for a while, I’ll actually be a better friend.

And third, I am tired of feeling like life is a competition. I’m finding that what Facebook is really great for, is BRAGGING, and that’s been a really difficult thing for me to deal with. I’m not a jealous person, but I find that seeing people posting about their new cars, vacations, babies, and ginormous houses causes me to start comparing my life to others. And I’m guilty of it too- it’s hard not to post exciting news about your latest accomplishments. Maybe I’m just being sensitive, and I should be able to applaud someone rather than covet what they have, but regardless, I just need a time-out from this hamster wheel.

I should be clear that it's no ONE person that made me feel this way, and I am not upset with anyone. I just want to surround myself with positivity and connect deeply with my closest friends. I want my life to be rich with memories, laughter, and celebrations, and I want to explore innovative ideas with people, not hear them complain about how long the line is at Starbucks this morning. And I’m tired of feeling like people only want to be my “friend” on Facebook so that they can cyber-stalk my profile and find out if what I have is better than them or vice versa. If you want to know about my life, then talk to me; don’t log on to Facebook to find out how I am doing.

I think Eleanor Roosevelt said it best, when she said,

“GREAT minds discuss ideas; AVERAGE minds discuss events; SMALL minds discuss people.”

Instead of using Facebook for gossip and undercover stalking, how about we start using it to enrich our lives, not detract from our happiness? How about status updates of gratitude, not complaints about poopy diapers? What if we left a message of encouragement or a comment to make someone laugh on their profile wall instead of just shadowing someone’s pictures from the weekend and clicking through in anonymity.

So for now, no more Facebook. Maybe the answer is some more “pruning” to my friend list? In any case, I’m going to focus on what matters to me in my life, and what makes me happy, instead of staring brain-dead at a screen. I deserve to live an enriched life, and I need to cut out the negativity and negative people so that I can thrive as my authentic self.